Travesty

Such a shallow, little mind I've married;
such a shady, little man I've wed.
Such a sneaky, selfish heart I'm tied to.
What a demon I've let in my bed.

What a fool I was to share my life!
What an idiot to say "I do".
How do you pick up the pieces
when so little is left of you?

The outrage courses through me each day when I wake.
The pain in my chest
    might as well not exist;
there's so little left to break.

How tiny his care for me,
this man who promised the world.
I regret
that my heart won't forget
every insult and blow he's hurled.

The Wonderland he preached of is a Nightmare
where only Bad can survive.
I guess that will be okay--for him--
since he hates the fact I'm alive.

He's said so enough that I know it,
drilled that fact into my brain.
He apologizes,
and I wake up each day
knowing he'll do it again.

He hated me when he first met me;
I didn't know it at the time.
When I found out, it was too late;
his last name was already mine.

I've 'wifed' through Iraq--
been to Hell and back,
and buried a child of mine.
But there's no Hell on Earth
that will ever be worth
the Pain that HE helped me find.