Army Men

"It's kind of a shabby house don't you think?" Lauren asked her little sister Raechel.
"Yeah, but don't tell mom. She is trying so hard to make this good for us." Raechel replied.
"You are one in-tune ten-year-old, you know that Rae?" Lauren said.
"I try."
"Hey kids, come help me clean the attic!" their mom yelled. The two climbed the drop down attic stairs to find their mom and brother opening boxes and dusting cobwebs. "It looks like a lot of old stuff is in here. You guys take it downstairs, and you can keep something if you like it. Trash the rest for me okay?" she asked. They each grabbed a box and went to the kitchen table, where Jared, Lauren and Raechel's brother, began to sift through them.
"Eww! How can you touch that stuff, it belonged to a dead person!" Raechel exclaimed.
"Whatever." Jared said, his voice dripping with attitude.
"What if something gets you?" Raechel asked, but at that moment Jared yelled, "Oh my God! Something's grabbing my arm!" Raechel began to run around screaming, but Jared started laughing and pulled his arm out of the box, wiggling his fingers. "Oops, my bad!" he laughed.
"Jared! Knock it off or you're going to have to deal with me." Lauren warned, smacking him with an old TIME magazine. "You're such a boy. Now take these boxes outs..."
"Cool! Army Men!" Jared yelled enthusiastically, cutting Lauren off.
"God Jared, immature much? Aren't those for, like, five-year-olds?" Lauren asked sarcastically.
" No way. I've got a collection." he replied.
"Whatever. Just take this stuff to the trash." Raechel said, finally recovering from the arm scare. Once he'd left she'd added, "For a thirteen-year-old boy, he sure is dumb."
"Yeah, but did you notice how you said boy?"


"Pass the ketchup." Jared said later at dinner.
"So mom, are we going to be homeschooled or what?" Lauren asked, trying to sound nonchalant but obviously not because it was mid-October.
"Actually, I wanted to talk about that, because I found a good school system a few miles away." You could hear the moans a mile away they were so loud.
"Moooom, why?" Jared whined.
"Well, I got a day job, and you guys need an education."
"Alright mom, just lay it on us." Lauren said with a sigh.
"Well, Raechel and Jared will be going to Wilson Middle School, and you'll be going to Oaks high." their mom replied.
"Middle school? But I'm in fourth grade." Raechel reminded.
"Yes, but you're very smart and I want you to be in the same school as Jared so it will be easier. You can handle it."
During the latter of the conversation Jared had been silently thinking about his mother's new day job. "But Amy, I mean, mom, if you've got a day job, you're still driving us, right?" Jared inquired with fear in his voice.
"Stop calling me Amy. I am your mother, and no. Until Lauren can pay for a liscensce and a car, you will all be taking the bus." their mom, Amy, replied.
"NO!" Jared and Lauren yelled together. "Mom! This will put us right on the unpopular list. I'm sure of it." Lauren stated.
"You do not know that. Just trust me. You start tomorrow, and the bus will be here at 7:30, and I want you asleep by midnight. No, Jared, that doesn't mean you. I want you in bed by ten, and Rae, you should turn in at nine okay?" she made it sound like a question, but it was obviously a demand.
"Whatever mom," Lauren grumbled, sliding away from the table. "I'll be in my room."
"She'll get used to it." Amy assured the other two children, but Jared just rolled his eyes and went to his own bedroom down the hall.
"It's okay mom. They'll get used to it."Raechel reassured her mother, in response to the long sigh she had issued.


"God, Lauren! Get up! You're going to miss the bus!" Raechel cried, while running a brush through her wet hair.
"Wha?" Lauren mumbled in response.
"Yeah, finally. It's 7:15! I've been trying to get you up since six o-clock!"
"Oh my God!" Lauren yelled, rolling onto the floor in her hurry to get out of bed. "Shi..Shoot! I'm so late!" she exclaimed, hurrying to hide her language from her younger sister. She threw on her nicest sweater and jeans, then tried to comb her hair. "Why is my hair such a mop?" she hollared.
"Because you don't take good care of it." Raechel replied.
"That was a rhetorical question." Lauren grumbled, but knew it was true. "Look at you, with your cute skirt and curly pigtails. What time did you get up?"
"Five o-clock." Raechel answered matter-of-factly.
"Bus is here!" Jared called from the kitchen. Both girls rushed into the hallway, only to slip on their brother's army men.
"Jared! Pick up your toys! God!" Lauren yelled. Despite their fall, Lauren and Raechel got to the bus just in time.


"So how was your day? Not terrible, I'm assuming." Amy asked later that day.
"Well, I had a great day. I made friends with a girl named Michelle and she's actually my age." Raechel said excitedly, but before she can continue, Jared cut in. "My day sucked! Kids made fun of me on the bus, teasing me about our house being 'haunted' by some toys or something. The schoolwork is so hard, and no one likes me!"
"Pshaw. My day beats all of yours. I'm totally popular. Sorta. I made a ton of friends in the not-popular-but-could-be category. And this totally cute guy talked to me. Plus, homecoming is only a month away!!" Lauren exclaimed.
"Well, it seems like most of you all had a good day. Now, I want homework done before anything else." Amy warned, "Or else."
"Aww mom!" Jared whined.
"Don't worry Jared. I got your back." Lauren assured.
"Huh?"
"I'll help you."
"Oh."
"You are so dumb, Jared." Lauren and Raechel informed.
"Go on." their mom laughed.
"Oh, one more thing Jared. We tripped on your Army men this morning, can you pick them up when your done?" Lauren asked.
"I didn't take my army men out this morning." Jared said with a questioning look.
"Whatever, they were on the floor. Keep them in your room."


Late that night Lauren woke up. She sleepily got out of bed and walked down the hall to get a drink of water, but paused when she heard the floor creak down the hall, in the opposite direction. "Oh my god Jared! You can't scare me like when I was little anymore. Come out, now!"" She flipped on the light, but Jared wasn't there, just his army men. 'Could he remember something for once?' she wondered sarcastically. After she got a drink Lauren went back to bed without another thought.


"God, Jared. Can you not do anything? I mean jeez." Lauren said.
"Whattya mean?" he asked her.
"How about not picking up your toys until this morning, even though I told you to yesterday."
"But I did put my army men away last night, while you and Rae were brushing your teeth."
"Then why where they on the floor in the hallway at midnight last night?" Lauren inquired.
"I didn't leave them out!" Jared insisted.
"Whatever Jared. Grow up." Lauren said, exasperated.
"Whatever yourself."


"You got everything?" Jared asked Raechel for the umpteenth time.
"Yes!"
"Good, 'cause I'm not coming back in with you when you're scared."
"Yeah, well, It's not that great an idea to camp out in our backyard. I should just sleep inside like Lauren." Raechel retorted.
"Nonsense, you guys are gonna have a great time," their mother said. "Now remember, after I leave, Lauren's in charge. I'll be back in a week, and you can always call me by phone."
"Yes, mom." Jared and Raechel answered. The two of them crawled into the tent and soon their mother drove away.
"Shoot. I forgot my pillow." Raechel moaned.
"I'm not going with you." Jared informed, practically yelling.
"Did I ask you to? God, Jared!" Raechel replied loudly. She left to go get it, but Jared had a great (or not so great) idea.
'Why don't I scare Raechel?'


"Geez, It's so dark. I don't know why Jared can't just come with me." Rae mumbled to herself. She walked into the kitchen and then the front hall, not thinking much of the door squeaking or the floor creaking behind her that was actually Jared. She walked down the dimly lit hallway and stopped short outside of the room she and Lauren shared. She opened her mouth to start screaming, but instead a pair of hands grabbed her mouth!
"Shh!" Jared whispered.
"Jared! They've got Lauren! Your army dolls, they've got Lauren!" she whispered frantically. Cautiously they peered into the room through a crack in the door. The small green army men Jared had found in a box in the attic were dragging their older sister Lauren out of her room through the window! It looked like she was trying to scream, or to shake free of the army men, but they had her bound and gagged.
"We've got to follow them," Jared whispered into Raechel's ear. "I'll grab the lantern, and why don't you get your pillow, that way we won't have to come back in here, okay?"
"Yeah." Raechel whispered back, and shivered with fear at the thought of going into a room that living army men had just dragged her sister out of.


"Jared, we've been following them for hours. Where could they be going?" Raechel whined.
"I don't know, but is getting lighter out." Jared whispered comfortingly.


It was getting dark again, the sky a greyish-blue, and Jared and Raechel had been following the army men for almost 24 hours. Suddenly, they took a turn and stopped. 'What a relief.' Jared thought.
"Jared, why are we in a graveyard?" Raechel asked.
"A graveyard? Why does this seem so familiar? Which graveyard?" he inquired.
"Veteran's Cemetary. I think. The sign is a little old..." Raechel informed him.
"Oh no. Now I know why this sounds familiar. It's what they were joking about on the bus! I didn't know what they'd been saying would be true!"
"What Jared?" Raechel asked impatiently.
"They said that army toys had dragged him out of a window, but the glass broke on him so he died. It looked like suicide." Jared said.
"So? What does that have to do with us?" Rae asked again, even more impatient.
"They also said their job was to summon actual veterans from the cemetery, ones that are actually themselves. God, I wish I would have believed them!" he said, and the stress was there in his voice.
"I would get this a lot better if you just spat out the rest of the story, Jared." Raechel said.
"Fine. The toy army men summon real ones from the grave. They brought Lauren along because the zombies," he gulped, "need human flesh to become human again."
"How did those boys know that Jared?" Raechel asked.
"I don't know Rae."
"What are we going to do? The police won't believe us, and we don't even have a phone." Raechel said down-heartedly. Suddenly a scream filled the air. "Lauren!" Jared and Raechel cried.
"I know what we're going to do!" Jared said, looking determined. "I'm going to save my sister!"
"Yeah!" Raechel agreed.
"Okay Rae, here's the plan..."


A few minutes later, Jared had Raechel's pillow and was hidden behind a tree, witnessing a truly horrific event. Lauren was backed up against a grave, and over a dozen grotesque zombies, in Veteran attire, were closing in on her, clawing at her bloody arms and legs. In a moment he would jump into the middle of it.
"Here I go," he whisperd, "Tarzan!!" he cried, and jumped in front of Lauren. He stood up and saw the zombies from Lauren's point of view. He shuddered.
"What are you doing Jared?" Lauren cried, but Jared wasn't listening. He was too busy wacking zombies with Raechel's pillow, and kicking anything within reach. But they were still coming, clawing at Lauren and now Jared too.
"Ahh." he hissed, and sucked in a breath as one of them sliced from his thigh to his ankle. Blood had poured from the wound, and Jared did his best to hit the zombie away. It backed up some, taking with it a large piece of Jared's skin. He dropped the pillow and fell to his knees, gasping when he fell on his wound.
"Oh no," he gasped, "they're only getting stronger with each slice. Raechel, you're on!" With that, he fell unconscious, and the zombies fell on him like starving hyenas.
"Raechel!" Lauren cried, "You can't help! Get out of here!" she said, because at thatmoment, Raechel had appeared on a rock slightly above the crowd.
"No way!" Raechel said dramatically, and aimed a hose at the zombies. "I hope this works!" Then she began to spray holy water on the approaching zombies. A great thing began to happen, the ones closest to Raechel began sizzling like bacon on a grill, and blisters began appearing on their skin. In no time, they had dissapeared completely and Raechel aimed for more.
'What else can I use?' she had thought, looking around her. "If the whole religious trend is working, then this might work..." she said to herself. Then tossed a pile of American flags at Lauren, "Here! Try these!" Lauren smartly laid one on Jared first, and then she threw them at as many zombies as possible. The zombies numbers lessened, and in no time all that was left was a mess from the water and a few sizzling flags.
"Raechel!" Lauren cried, and rushed to hug her little sister, who was shaking.
"We've got to get Jared to a hospital." Rae whisperd, "But what we say to them, I haven't a clue."
Lauren suddenly looked bright with an idea, "Well you guys were camping out, right?"
"Yeah." Raechel replied with confusion. "So there's a lot of metal in the trees back there we don't know about. What if he fell on a rake?" Lauren said smartly.
"Oh my God! You're right! Let's get Jared to the hospital. Now."

It turned out that Jared was injured pretty badly, and so were the girls. The doctors ate the story of the three of them in the woods right up too. When Jared finally woke up a day later, both his sisters were there.
"Rae?" he asked right away.
"Right here, Jared." she said comfortingly. "What happened? Lauren!" he exclaimed suddenly.
"Calm down. You're the only badly injured on here. You sure know how to trip on rakes, Jared." Lauren said, because there was a nurse in the room. When the nurse had left she said, "Well, if it weren't for Raechel, we probably wouldn't have made it to the hospital. She thought up the idea to use flags on the zombies. How did you come up with that anyway, Raechel?" Lauren asks.
"Well, if holy water worked, then I figured that because the flag represents soldiers, and how they're pure of heart, but these zombie veterans were anything but." Raechel replies.
"I always knew you were too smart." Lauren smiles.


"Hey kids!" Amy shouts when she walks in the front door. "How was your week?"
Lauren and Raechel, who were in the room painting their nails, answered. "Well, it was okay." they say. Then Jared hobbles in, his leg wrapped in gauze.
"What happened?" Amy cries, and runs to hug him.
"Well, you know Jared, mom. When he and Rae were camping out last weekend he decided to go for a walk in the woods, and tripped and fell on a rake that was out there. I know, so Jared right? Now he has to go to school looking like he was a mummy or something." Lauren snickered.
"Well, it's good nothing worse happened." thier mother says.
"Yeah, yeah, good for that. Now, can you guys start on dinner? I'm famished." Jared asks.
"Sure Jared," their mom laughs. "Good to see that the shock from such an odd week hasn't affected your appetite."