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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4769800
Review #4769800
Viewing a review of:
 Losing Battle  [E]
a losing battle with something non visible
by Bernie
Review of Losing Battle  
Review by Nixie🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Bernie

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



I've read through several poems in your port, all of which made me uncomfortable because they were easily relatable when I wished they were not. Our experiences are expressed uniquely, but it feels as if we're running on the same track of doing the best we can.

Inner battles are the story of my existence. Everything that can't be seen because it's underneath a wealth of pretense, that's where I live. In a make-believe world so others can be comfortable in my presence. I suppose we all wear one sort of mask or the other.

"Losing Battle" doesn't seem directed at an individual, which is what I expected. Rather it read like an overall battle with the world. It's difficult to see the light once we've accepted the dark reality of life.

I read the prose a few times before I noticed the brief description, which explains exactly the impression I had. And battles with something unseen is a theme I've often written about.

It's not uncommon for me to tune out, as expressed in the first verse. And I feel the same way. Let me be.

Accepting without expectations can be healthy, but a few days ago I reached a revelation. I've been accepting defeat, and that's self-sabotage. I don't like believing that we create our own reality with our thoughts. It scares me.

All of the above was a response to the last line in the final stanza. Your belief in failure will darken every day.

*QuestionB* The prose flowed with punctuation placed only where needed. Maybe a period at the end of the last sentence would be appropriate?

I liked everything I read in your portfolio, but this poem was the easiest to review because it was direct, rather than esoteric. Mostly I write esoteric freeform poems. As the word implies, a few can grasp the meaning, and that always surprises me. Your other writings were so personal, I wasn't quite sure how to approach them. You're an excellent writer.

Happy anniversary.

Respectfully reviewed by,
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group



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