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Dear zbkhan I reviewed this story after seeing your request for a review of one of your essay stories about the history of one of the prophets. It seems you have only been on WDC for a short time and I anticipated a beginning writers story with the usual struggles for proper dialog and characterization. It is obvious from this story that you have been writing for some time and are certainly not a novice. The story is dark and intriguing and the language sets the tone and you paint the scenes with imagery and the action with dialog. If I have two suggestions, in my humble opinion on this story. Scene setting and transition could be a little more crisp, who are the characters in each scene and where are they? Next, don’t give away too much early in the story about what has happened and what your MC is worried about. I hope you will enjoy WDC it is a welcoming place with many gifted writers. A Salem Aleekum. ![]() ![]()
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