*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4758675
Review #4758675
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Joseph,

I received your request to read and review "The Gypsy." I have read your short story and I have some thoughts to share with you which I hope resonate with you.

Initial and overall impression: Your manuscript is presented in a ready to publish form. The story description engaged me. What an expert way you wove your opening line that hooked me securely on board. The story is structured in a way that flows from one thrilling outcome to the next of Robert's thinking about the weather. My overall impression is total satisfaction. I was left wanting more. I have that good feeling you get when you have read something well written, suspenseful, and with a likeable, albeit it fallible protagonist. Bravo!

There are too many portions of the story I could single out as my favorite. I will highlight just one. The encounter with the Gypsy. You showed me the scene. I read just the right amount of description for me to use my imagination for what she looked like, how her voice sounded, and how firm (and menacing) she was in her promise of the outcome of her curse on Robert.

Here I have a couple of suggestions. In Chapter 1, line 2, "And as he stood at the foot of it, he gave his arm a good stretch." Arm should be arms. Later in Chapter 1 you refer to mother nature. Since she is being referred to with a human name, her name would be capitalized as Mother Nature.

I liked your story. I liked your story a lot. I loved "The Gypsy!" What a great frame. Your descriptions of the destructive episodes jumped off the page. I liked Robert who reminded me of those 'perfect, I am better than you are' people who are called out. He got his comeuppance! Your story is the best read I have had in a very, very long time. If I were a publisher, I would snap your story up in a heartbeat. Thank you for the privilege to read and review your short story. It is outstanding! I am bookmarking this and have fan'd you to be sure I come back and read more!

Write on!
tracker

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

On share for group members

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/24/2024 @ 8:59pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4758675