*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753710
Review #4753710
Viewing a review of:
 
False Flowering  [ASR]
Spring, sans the bloom. To Gina.
by winklett in the woods
Review of False Flowering  
Review by Hrafnar Árgeir
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Greetings Friend!:

Emotional Aspect.
         A very clear state of bitterness, of heartache, and disappointment. I was envolved in these emotions while reading, but a tenacious feeling that the piece has much more to express. I felt that if your intention was to shoot for the essence of this poem, it needs a bit of "Setting". The "Set" is pretty clear. In my humble opinion it needs something to complement the months (seasons) and help move it along.
         It was easily relatable, heartbreak, a clueless partner, and disappointment. Though the line:
" ... roughly ushering my senses
along a tainted monastery stream
awash with memories of untested depth."
For starters is fantastic! So good that it kind of stands alone from the rest of the poem. It holds the essence of what the piece can becom.          
         

Overall Assessment


I think love what the piece can become a smidge more than its' present state. It's my kind of poetry, the imagery, drabness, and authenticity are on point here! Definitely I'm interested in seeing what it becomes! Keep it up you have talent.





SKÖL!!

HRAFNAR



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753710