*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753330
Review #4753330
Viewing a review of:
 
The P Shop  [E]
You may think you are just browsing.
by tracker
Review of The P Shop  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Premium members can use this


I love the idea of a potion that gives peace, joy and love - and yes, that would look good on anyone! *Smile*

While the story works as it is, I'd like to make a small suggestion if I may. I notice you spend many words building the suspense about the shop, and perhaps not enough about the potion itself. Maybe a little more leading up to her actually taking the potion ... ? Was she excited? Scared? Anticipating something?

A very special shout out for the easy to read type and layout - thank you!

*Smile* Write On

- Sonali

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/23/2024 @ 12:30am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4753330