Hi R.S. Cooper ,

I have the pleasure of an anniversary review of your entry as part of the "Game of Thrones"  challenge.
Your Hook
The title of your piece didn't particularly grip me, it was the subtitle that made me pulled me in. I have heard of Gnosticism but have scant idea of what that means, and so I thought your work might be a learning opportunity for the ever-curious mind.

Your opening is good and direct, and rather biblical to have a dream vision to reveal your story. Felt apt.

The Characters
There is not much detail to the characters in the tale, yourself being relayed in a somewhat generic manner. This is possibly deliberate so that the reader can picture themselves in the dreamer's role. There are, in fact, very few visual details in the story at all; it is focused primarily on relaying concepts.

Dialogue
The dialogue flows well, and with old-fashioned archaic terms used to assist your olde worlde vibe. The God figures are undefined, while their dialogue is also impersonal, which makes sense when we later discover their feelings about people.

Tale Highlight
I perceived that even should the Archons triumph in this great conflict, they held no affection for the denizens of the Earth. Man was not greatly loved by them, nor was his submission to their path a guarantor of his liberation.

I found this oddly satisfying, god figures that don't really like us is non-cliche and yet very believable too. It's a very interesting point of difference to your story. And what made me want to hear more.

My Recommendations

I wonder if a little more description would benefit readers, particularly in regard to all the senses; utilizing the senses might help pull the reader in closer to the story and help it come alive more.

Overall
You concluded your tale, as all dreams do, by waking up. It felt right that your state the distressed sensation the protagonist is left with. While I became involved enough with the tale overall that I am now left wondering more about those God Figures... where did they go? What did they do next? And even, why did they bother doing this?

A very interesting story that I hope there might be more future instalments on. P)lease tag me in if there are.

Thank you for sharing your work!


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.