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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742741
Review #4742741
Viewing a review of:
The Gardener's Shed  [13+]
The honest truth about guinea pigs.
by Winchester Jones
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

This is being reviewed for


FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Finding my way back


House Lannister image for G.o.T.


Howdy! I'm reviewing for GoT and as a late participant, me and 2 other late folks have to all review at 5 different yellow cases with 2 items from their port. We all review the same items, so you'll be seeing more reviews on this. lol

I assume you've seen on the Newsfeed that guinea pigs have been a big topic for like the last 6-8 months as someone has been posting lots of stories with imaginary guinea pigs. lol That's why I picked this story. *Smile* Actually, I just checked your fan list and you probably have NOT seen all the guinea pig stuff, unless you get on the Community Newsfeed, which I assume you don't since like 5 people on the whole site do. *Think* To get to see more activities and meet more folks (and sometimes read some guinea pig nonsense), definitely check out the Community Newsfeed! To get there, you click Newsfeed to go to your Personal Newsfeed. Then along the top, you'll see "View the Community Newsfeed." Click that and you'll see what everyone is posting (within your rating limits), not just your tiny corner of WdC. There's lots of excitement going on...though right now, a lot of it is centered on GoT (Game of Thrones). *Wink*

Anyway, good job actually editing this item! You'll see a lot of stuff in my port has the same Created and Modified dates/times. *Think* Good job being better than I am. *Laugh* Though I see you listed Contest Entry as one of your genres. I would strongly advise against that. (And against using Other as a genre. *Wink*) If your work gets nominated for "The Quills, you're basically throwing away opportunities to win. The item is put into the category you nominate it for (assuming it fits lol), but then it's automatically put into the genre categories the author listed. No matter how obvious it is, if it's not listed, it doesn't go in that genre category, so you'd miss a 4th chance at a Quill (the main category you're nominated for, plus all 3 genre categories).

Another reason to use good genres is that genres are the #1 way folks search for items to read. People don't search for Contest Entries (or Other), so you're missing out on up to 1/3 of your possible readers. *Shock* *Sob* Without having even read the story, if you're listing Pets, I'm sure you can list Animals. I would guess also Home/Garden, based on the title. I've started reading and think you should go with Comedy as the other option. *Laugh*

Now to read the story. *Bigsmile*

"Guinea pigs can smell fear. That's the absolute truth. Whatever you do, don't ever run from a guinea pig. I want you guys to remember that!" That's a great line! *Rolling*

"Well, with each step we took backwards, them guinea pigs took a bunch'a little guinea pig steps forward." OMG! You're killing me!!! *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling*

"Then I spotted something even more frightening than guinea pigs and rabbits. Hamsters! That's right. Wild ones! Thousands of 'em." *Laugh* *Rolling* I don't even know why I find this so hilarious, but it is!!!

"Get out, Teddy!' I screamed. 'Don't worry about me,' I said. 'For the love of God, save yourself!" The double quotation marks are mine. You used single. This should be punctuated as "Get out, Teddy!" I screamed. "Don't worry about me," I said. "For the love of God, save yourself!" You need a bunch of double and no single quotation marks. Also, you didn't even use the ones needed at the beginning and end. *Wink*

"It was my fault for not feeding my pets properly." Was it? Or was it your mom's fault for continuing to get your pets? *Laugh*

OMG! The ending! This was a fabulous twist I never saw coming and I loved it! What a fantastic story! Very well done! You're quite talented!

Remember that these (mostly positive) comments are my own opinion, so do with it as you wish. *Wink*

Thank you for sharing your story!! Keep writing!





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/08/2024 @ 5:04pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742741