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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742729
Review #4742729
Viewing a review of:
The Gardener's Shed  [13+]
The honest truth about guinea pigs.
by Winchester Jones
Review by Purple Princess
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"   by Gaby ~ Finding my way back Review


Storyline: A little boy named Carl, and his brother Teddy become trapped in the Gardener's Shed, surrounded by Guinea pigs. Upon further inspection, rabbits, hamsters and snakes join into the mix. Carl soon realizes mistakes of the past have come back to haunt him, and does his best to save his brother.

Spelling/Grammar Issues: *ThumbsUpL*
The only thing I wondered about was possibly putting the warning in italics for impact.

Description: You did a great job of pulling the reader into the story and putting them on the edge of their seat as the fear and tension mounted in the shed. The beady little eyes and the smells of death heightened the level of fear and urgency. Good job with creaking the door and describing the dirty window that would surely plunge the boys into darkness as the animals moved in on them.

Overall Impression: To know that all of this was happening because of Carl's neglect as a child, just added to the tension. They do say actions have consequences, and that point has been proven in this short story. That ties this story together, and then the reader learns it's a tall tale told by a grandfather to his grandsons. I burst out laughing as the daughter tried to scold him.

Final Thoughts: This was absolutely fantastic. I had no idea this was how the story would end. I can imagine what it was like for the grandsons to try to sleep and decide who was telling the truth: their mother or grandfather. I bought into this as an adult, so those kids would definitely be struggling. I can see this story being handed down from one generation to the next during family camping trips. I really enjoyed it. Congratulations on getting the well-deserved awardicon!




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