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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742538
Review #4742538
Viewing a review of:
 The Last Fifteen Years  [ASR]
Writer's Cramp entry. A post-apocalyptic narrative poem.
by Elizabeth
Review by Jayne
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones review!


Hello, Elizabeth!

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
Your poem beautifully adopts a traditional verse structure, offering a clear and rhythmic progression of ideas and images, although I don't believe it is any particular form. Your style is vivid and descriptive, painting scenes with words in a way that draws the reader in, making them feel the cold, the fear, and the determination of the character. It was a solid choice not to over-complicate the language, as the poem's theme is already complex. Additionally, the language feels natural to the setting and character, instead of being forced on the reader, enhancing the overall reading experience.

If I were to nitpick, there are a few lines where the rhythm slips up. Nothing entirely breaks the poem, but it takes a moment to get the read right and pick the rhythm up again. The first stanza, second line, threw me off the most, but again, it was easy to get back on track.

*Checkb*Content:
The content of your poem is rich with imagery and emotion, exploring deep themes of loss, resilience, and the quest for redemption in a world irrevocably changed by disaster. The struggle against the darkness, both literal and metaphorical, is compelling and relatable. Clinging to memories and teachings of lost loved ones as a source of strength is particularly touching and adds an extra layer of depth.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The poem is well-composed, with no noticeable spelling or grammar errors. Your use of language is precise, without over-complication or ambiguity.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
Overall, your poem is a haunting narrative poetry that resonates with readers even though it's a timeline most of us can't fully understand.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*


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