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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740992
Review #4740992
Viewing a review of:
 The New Garden  [E]
Flash Fiction
by Jacky
Review of The New Garden  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Targaryen image for G.o.T.
In House Targaryen,
there'll be

*Fire* FIRE *Fire* & *DropR* BLOOD *DropR*

IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"The WDC Angel Army


Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



Greetings Jacky !

I am currently reviewing as part of the tasks set by the "Game of Thrones. Today is your 12th Account Anniversary and I am so happy that you reach this far. Here's to more year of Writing and Reviewing with Writing.com!


*Fireworks6* *Fireworks5* Happy 12th Account Anniversary to you! *Fireworks5* *Fireworks6*


To celebrate your special Account Birthday, here's a review for you. In this review, I mainly focus on the positives of your piece and I may point some Areas for Improvement if found any. Without much a do, here are the things I noticed after delving deeper into the contents:


Analysis

One of the story's most compelling aspects is the deliberate shroud of mystery. We, as readers, are thrust into this unknown situation alongside the characters. This creates a sense of shared disorientation that mirrors their own, generating tension and a desire to understand the nature of their predicament. The cryptic mention of a black hole adds an extra layer of science fiction intrigue, hinting at a potentially dangerous force with the ability to disrupt reality.



Character Dynamics & Conflicting Outlooks

The story effectively utilizes the dialogue between Sammy and Alex to showcase their contrasting personalities. Sammy's enthusiasm and adaptability are a foil to Alex's underlying reservations and cautious nature. This subtle conflict could be further explored. It begs the question: Does Alex perceive a danger that Sammy overlooks, or is Alex struggling with a sense of resignation absent in Sammy? This difference in outlook hints at potential internal struggles the characters might face as their situation evolves.



Expanding the Narrative: Where to Go From Here

There are numerous ways to build upon the strong foundation of "The New Garden." Here are a few more possibilities:

The Exploration Element: One avenue could be the discovery of unexpected lifeforms or resources within this strange environment. How would the characters react? Would this offer hope or bring new threats?

Internal vs. External Conflict: The story could pivot towards interpersonal friction between Sammy and Alex as the reality of their survival sets in. This could be exacerbated by dwindling resources or a growing sense of hopelessness.

The Nature of the Black Hole: The black hole might become a more central antagonist, with increasingly strange effects on their surroundings. The story could become one of unraveling a cosmic mystery while fighting for survival.


In conclusion, "The New Garden" offers a captivating premise with plenty of room for expansion. By carefully developing its setting, raising the stakes, exploring the characters' motivations, and considering the options highlighted above, this story has the potential to become a truly engaging and thought-provoking work of science fiction. Thank you for the wonderful read. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic

GoT House Targaryen :: Gervic


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