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Review #4712654
Viewing a review of:
When Hearts Bond  [13+]
Unknowingly, a fresh management trainee helps a poor family in rural Africa.
by Prof Moriarty
Review of When Hearts Bond  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
I'm no great romance fan but this little story I like. It has local interest, awareness of foreign customs, and creates a setting with considerable authority while introducing characters of interest and believability. Abena in particular is very well drawn. That's no mean feat in a story of only 1,000 words.

You write clearly and well, without overly flowery descriptions and unnecessary diversions. I did find a couple of errors which I list below:

"I marveled her multiple-tasking" - should be "...marvelled at..."

"cause for complain." - should be "...complaint..."

Otherwise, I can't find any flaws, although I do wonder if the title is quite right. I mean, they didn't quite bond, did they? The differences between them were too great and the narrator chose to leave and never see Abena again. Perhaps the title needs dialling back a bit. Something like "A Fruitful Relationship." It tells no lies, has a funny angle on the initial stages of the relationship, and is not quite as serious in its implications. Entirely your decision, however.

Thank you for a most enjoyable read.

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Beholden


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