*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4712572
Review #4712572
Viewing a review of:
 Prayers  [E]
Philosophical Prayers
by Vanishing Vapor
Review of Prayers  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hallo!
I saw this on the Hub as a recent static item. The title intrigued me and I clicked. Maybe you could expand the brief description a bit. The genres work.

I like the layout, with the 'peace' symbol on top. The poem itself is lovely! The rhyme scheme and words chosen work well, and I enjoyed reading all the people you pray for and what you wish for them.

Suggestions:
1. Since the rhyme scheme is abcb, you may like to divide the poem into 4-line verses.
2. While the rest of the poem fitted in beautifully, the last line, 'slumber in peace' could have many interpretations. I get where you're coming from with this line, that the dreams should be good ones, but it could also imply that the person only keeps sleeping and dreaming and not wake up and do something to realise those dreams. You might want to tweak that like a little bit! (This is just my opinion.)

Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.
Write On,
Duck sig - thanks Falguni!
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4712572