Hi, I found your The Wall at Read and Review. I'm pleased to be reviewing a poem posted at The Poet's Place. There is a lot there to help us hone our craft. The latest is "DISCUSSION: Rhyme Weaving"  . Hope to see more from you there. Back to you poem. . .

First Impression I am always drawn to the shape of the Etheree. The title The Wall is intriguing. I think when seen, this poem will be read by a random reader.

Form Etheree. s simple progressive syllabic verse attributed to American poet Etheree Taylor Armstrong. The elements of the Etheree being:
         1. a decastich. (10 line poem)
         2. syllabic, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 syllables per line.
         3. unrhymed.
         4. focused on 1 idea or subject

You nailed it, length, syllable count, no rhyme and a single focus that builds and the poem progresses.

Texture, rhythm, word choice and sonics The texture is in the progression of not just the syllable count but in the development of the focus. Well done. Simple language used but broadened with "mortar" and the alliteration of "building bricks". The poem flows fairly fluidly except for L5 which I stumbled over.

Suggestions Not only did I stumble on the rhythm of L5, I also didn't understand it in the scheme of the poem. My first reaction was replace with "with brick and mortar" but then I realized you use "brick" very effectively elsewhere, so what other word or phrase would work here? "with grit and mortar" "with stone and mortar"? I like grit because it is a hint at the character rather than the material. Just throwing out ideas. This is your poem, use what you feel helpful and ignore the rest.

Overview I liked this poem. The last line pulls it all together. Nice read.

~~Tink






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .