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Greetings Jimminycritic!




Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I felt the despair and urgency wrapped in the impotence of the whole affair,


Form, Format, Rhyme, and Meter (as applicable):
It needs a bit of polishing especially in the form, in my opinion it would help convey the emotions.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I'm not too fond of everyday words in a poem, like "Those", "Things". In my humble opinion if those words were changed for others it will give the piece so much power.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
too many words in one line

Suggestions:

don't explain yourself, the poem should be enough. Over all, you have a real jewel here!



SKÖL!!

HRAFNAR

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .