Hello 🌑 Darleen - QoD

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019"  [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Reaction: An interesting poetic story. Not often does an image work with a poem as it can be distracting but from the image to the tale told within the poem, it all combined well together. There is the story of the poem and also the story told just within the image. Made for a good choice and might have helped with the poem creation if you found the image first since the contest doesn't have a particular prompt in order to guide the poem creation.


Contest/Prompt: The contest is an interesting one because it's fairly open in terms of expectations and doesn't provide a prompt to be followed. The only real requirement is to write in free verse and the rest is up to the writer. Can see how it might be challenging to judge since it's so open but also make for some fun competition.


Form and Structure: The contest required free verse so you're allowed freedom from structure or rhyme requirements. Overall, the poem works well. The only thing is for me, it did have some spots were it felt a little off when it came to the overall flow. What is said within the sentences make sense but at the same time, the structure of the lines had a lagging feeling. Probably just me with how it sounds in my head but was something I noticed. The second stanza was one in particular when it felt a little bit off.

Another spot is near the end of the poem in the part about the flames with the dress. Something about the sound of "as its flames lick the darkened..." throws me off. I think the its does it but can't quite pinpoint if it's just me or if maybe something could be adjusted.


Favorite Part:Beyond the flesh for eons, he is still taken in by her beauty.
An odd warmth spreads through his chilled bones and
a spark of a distant memory floods a body he hasn’t
felt the softness of since they both were once human


Final Thoughts: Nice work. I like what you created with the story of the grim reaper and queen of darkness. Good luck in the contest with this one. Hope you're having fun with the challenge of writing entries every week for I Write.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .