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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4386156
Review #4386156
Viewing a review of:
 
Quiet Time  [ASR]
7/12/10 Winner of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge.
by Have a sunshiny day!
Review of Quiet Time  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings once again, Connieann!
I don't know if it's just coincidence or what, but of all the stories of yours I chose to review today, they both ended with death. But 'death' in a good sort of way, if you know what I mean.
I could tell from the beginning of this that Jenny was a battered wife, just by what Doug said when he walked in the door. And you did a great job of showing how much Jenny loved her children.
You did a nice job building up the tension after that ball came flying through the window; I was worried that Doug really was going to take out his anger on her when Jenny fell to her knees, but fortunately you sent us down another (and good) road by having him step on the ball, thus ending any further abuse she would have had to suffer at the hands of this monster!
Two great stories with rather similar and ironic endings!
Well done, my friend, and congratulations on the victory!
One suggestion, one comment:
'recycle plant' (recycling plant?)
'spit flying like a spewing volcano' (great simile!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thank you for sharing this, and have a marvelous day/evening/tomorrow!

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
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