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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4385513
Review #4385513
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.5)
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Bon jour again, Georgina!
I like this! You did a good job of showing how these two siblings were trying to trap Santa, and having them come to an agreeable (and 'nice') solution at the end was a good way to finish it.
I almost entered this contest, but I just didn't have time this year. OK. Actually I just never got around to it. *Sad*
What I really enjoyed, even thought it seems so simple, was how you differentiated the speakers by using different colors. I just wish more writers would do that in stories like this.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles (sorry, but I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling*):
'Come here(,) reindeer! I have some yummy cookies!'
'Ok(,) brother.'
Otherwise, good job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Georgina! (Here I'd say good luck in the contest, but it's already been judged...)
*Some people have asked me not to review them anymore because of this. If that might be you, let me know. No hard feelings, and I completely understand. It's just a pet peeve of mine!)


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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

Goliath With A Santa Hat On

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4385513