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Review #4384340
Viewing a review of:
 But I was too Afraid  [E]
An interpretive story about feeling lost, scared and alone in a world of monsters.
by Mariella Stift
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello there, Mariella Stift!
As a lover of horror and dark things, I thought this was pretty good. I like how you didn't let on to who this skeletal creature actually was, and your descriptions of your whole experience were good. It's a little ambiguous though since you kind of dropped us right into the middle of it and we don't really know where you are or where you wound up (I know it's an interpretive piece), but some pieces are better off left that way; the reader can feel your fear, and writing it in the first person was a great idea; it makes it feel more personal.
Great spelling and telling, but I did see one tiny niggle:
“What seems to be the problem?” She asks as I look...' (she)
'...I find myself backing away in suspense.' (I'm not sure if 'suspense' is the right word you're looking for-perhaps 'trepidation'?)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Mariella, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community if you haven't already!

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4384340