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Review #4382499
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Buenos dias again, Words!
This isn't bad. You did a good job keeping the action moving, but the ending seemed a little anticlimactic. By that I mean you ended it with a simple four letter sentence. Up until that point it was going good, but I just think there could have been a better way to tell the reader that the intruder was killed. Maybe if you'd used some description of him running into the knife and what he felt.
Suggestion:
'He dropped to the floor, watching the blood gush from the wound in his stomach and feeling his life slowly drift away.
Tracey stood there in shock, for she thought the stranger was attacking her.'
Like I said, that's just a suggestion. And it's certainly not the best, but hopefully you see what I mean.
Sorry to be so picky, but I did see a couple of tiny niggles:
'like a draw being slammed shut' ('drawer'? or perhaps that's a U.K. term?)
You also have the main character spelled 'Tracy' at the beginning and 'Tracey' for the rest of it.
Kee ponw ritin gon, W.P.W. Thanks for sharing this, and have a great evening/morning/tomorrow (or yesterday?).*Laugh*

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