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Review #4315290
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Review by Rakkit
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*Reading*          Review for:We are Lost Trees          *Reading*



Hello!

I thought I would give you some feedback on your poem!

Note: please keep in mind that everything posted here is my opinion. Any stylistic suggestions that I give should be taken with a grain of salt.


*Key* Emotional Impact:

This little poem gave a lot to think about. I read it more than once to really get my feel for it.

*Key* Voice and Imagery:

You have a very distinctive voice in this, and I love the imagery. You carry the analogy of our lives as trees very well throughout the poem--and its easy to miss the forest for the trees (so to speak).

Some of my favorite parts was how you repeated the theme of 'dance' and 'wind', but changed a little bit of the wording each time (while personifying wind once...very nice).

I also liked the line "little grain of Earth". Cute!

*Key* Grammar Nitpicking/Mechanics:

I didn't catch any typos

*Key* Suggestions:

when it comes to poems, it's hard to give suggestions, because poetry itself is so subjective. If anything, I feel like the line "wooden hearted" did not belong. Everything else in your poem seemed so painstakingly picked out to describe things without forcing the description of trees, while wooden hearted seemed too...on the nose...I guess...but that it's totally my opinion, and still works well in your poem!

Anyhow, thank you for posting. I quite liked this poem!


Let me know if my ramblings make sense. I hope to see you around my port!

May your muses sing,

*Paw* Corrine Shroud


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