Hi Ember-Rain,

This is a great little story. Telling a complete and meaningful story in so few words is difficult, but you have done it really well. You have captured a very strong narrative voice, showing the confusion and grief the narrator feels. The short sentences work well in this story, as they create a vivid picture of the narrator speaking in clipped sentences. They found her on the bathroom floor is a powerful beginning, making the reader wonder what has happened, and want to read on.
I enjoyed this very much.
Eagle eye