Hi there len_gray! "Gasp!" your being reviewed by a newbie! I am reviewing

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #1970253 by Not Available.

General Impressions I was intrigued by the title especially the description. To review stories those are what I look at first. Next I look at author to see if I have seen them around. Very rare do I look at genre mostly because I think I can write in all of them and I do know how to read a story. The way you did your story was very good it surprised the heck out of me. Nice job once I got the punch line the plot, the description, and title all fit it extremely well.

Favorite Parts Brandon brought Lizzie over today and she played Go-Fish with me. She's so nice, I'm glad Mama finally realized it too! I just loved how you tied it all up in that one sentence. Beside why should I spoil the best part by reveling it in the review they need to read it first lol.

Plot I enjoyed the way the title, the plot, and the description really go together. You have to read the whole story to see it all come together.

Characters I enjoyed the way you had little sister describe her older brother. You side tracked us by making us think there was more to come on mom and the little sister. Either way it worked out just right we could picture a mom and an eight year old little girl and the brothers girlfriend. You never over described your characters.

Setting I had no problem visualizing the young man and mother confrontation going on with the young daughter watching it happen in the living room. I could even picture the mom and her friends as well.

Dialog You used your dialog well to advance and to show us and involve us in the story. The story was a good idea. I loved the plot as well as your side characters it added to the suspense.

If there was any Grammar or spelling errors they didn't distract from the telling of the story. You did a great job on this very nicely written.

Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story Whatever another person says -- especially me -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .