Hi there "Gasp!" your being reviewed by a newbie I enjoyed your story and can relate to the experience.

Plot You kept the title description as well as the story true to your plot.
Character The character was very believable as well as the hospital staff.
Setting I could picture myself there as well as going through the same stupid stuff.

As far as I can tell your story flows well from the reader point of view. the only glitch is when you tell about marking the right shoulder you suddenly have your self marking the left shoulder. (see below).
it took me minutes to even lift my left hand, stretch it and the IV line over my body, and begin to mark a big X on my left shoulder.

Isn't it funny when your hopped up on happy pills how easy it is to forget right from left. I'm sure it was just an oversight. The only reason I'm even showing you this. Is it tends to make the reader drop out of the story, and go back and reread the paragraph just to make sure what is going on here. You show your going for the right shoulder. It had to be that happy pill in action.

Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!!!

The Run-on King PDG Member



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .