And hello once more *flea333*,

Congratulations on your well-deserved win with this piece. I look forward to reading team New Zealand's work in this round of Project Write World!

What a moody poem this is, and right up my alley too! Again, I recognise your use of the same rhyme scheme, but you use it to effect quite a different voice. This reminds me so much of Tennyson's 'Rizpah' - with both yours and his possessing a particularly haunting, lonely texture. I liked your opening as well. You have a sense of the iambs once more as well. Your opening begins very much like Dylan Thomas's famous villanelle with, "Rage, rage, agains the dying..." as the echoing refrain. I produces the same effect of an off the beat, on the beat sound, whilst repeating the same word.

I loved your use of wording and tone throughout. You really do have a wonderful way with words, that had me so completely involved in the ambience of what you've written. I feel compelled to read over it many times. Wonderful work again, thank you for allowing me into the treasure trove that is your port!

All my best,


Dani




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .