"A Problem Page For All!"

My dad always makes negative remarks about "trailer trash" or "white trash". It's like he's biased into thinking that non-white people aren't trashy and are all beautiful and respectful. I'm sure his mom has something to do with that. As I wrote in my letter (did you get it didja get it yet?! I sent it Priority so you should have!), Grandma M. is obsessed with other ethnicities. She has countless books on Native Americans, praises all the African and African American athletes on TV, moans about how beautiful the Maoris in New Zealand are, was gleeful when Isabella was born (because she has dark hair and dark eyes), and even went so far to suggest that I marry an Asian man because it would be "lovely". It's weird. I think that right there is a form of racism. What do you think?

Anyway, I just now realized that Grant lives in a trailer! And he's totally not trash, although his trailer is as messy as my room. He's like me, though -- he's an artist and works well in disorganized areas.

Gosh, yeah, that could what's between my dad and I, the same thing that happened to you and Steve: he didn't think he was right all the time, but he wasn't willing to give an inch of ground because of the issues between you two. The thing is, my dad and I have never talked things out when something was tense, even from when I was 3-4 years old. It really sucks, because now, if I wanted to bring something up, it would be like jumping into freezing water. Such a shock, because neither of us has ever done it before. It would take real guts. Pap is touchy and sensitive and serious, and I'm touchy, sensitive, and timid.

He just thinks I'm overreacting about the health food thing. He doesn't want me turning out like Mum's side of the family, I guess. He thinks that my aunt Suzy is a hypocondriacht (however it's spelt); he thinks Mum worries way too much; and he thinks Grandma T. is just, I dunno, overdramatic and worrisome. He wants me to be like his side of the family, maybe. I really don't know. He thinks I shouldn't worry and should just let it go. He would think I was insane if he offered me a peach that wasn't organic, and I would panic because I just could not eat it. I sound crazy, don't I?! I can't consciously put food in my mouth that's full of toxins.

Shit, I sound so condescending and flat! LOL! You didn't at all. It really helped me to have you and Fea console me. And for that matter, I always feel condescending and flat and it sucks, but hey, I guess other people don't notice (or don't say anything).