United in our Grief Forum.

I feel your guys' anger. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It never happens like we expect it to, in fact we don't even expect it. It is a very final end of life that we are often not prepared for. I don't pretend to know all, or understand everybody's reactions. It sounds like a lack of hope or a cushion of hope or love that leads us to the extreme of feeling when some one passes.
My M&D both died within seven years recently and I handled it well. I wasn't glad but they were old and sick. They had become Christian and so that was very comforting. But it does leave an emptiness, you are lacking someone who was close and nothing is in his or her place- part of your happiness is gone. Some say they will never be the same. You kind of have to pick up the pieces and go on. If you need love- God loves you and can comfort you. But it is not over until it is over. There are many brave souls out there who feel the same and where they find the strength I don't know. Jesus was my strength. I don't get too attached to people but I always long for intimacy.
So just play it right be yourself, see what you need or not. Pursue something or not you don't have to change unless you are making your marriage or kids life hard. Take some time. Be comforted. Don't hate. Don't make your loved ones feel like you do. Don't isolate. The human mind has a great capacity to cope let it. It should come back. Rest.