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Rated: 13+ · Message Forum · Writing · #1474311
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Oct 27, 2014 at 1:25pm
#2753640
Re: Query letter
Okay. BIO HERE: What makes you qualified to write this novel? This might be more important for a nonfiction title, where your credentials will stand out for the topic at hand. At least an English major will get you to the point where someone might assume your grammar is decent. Perhaps if the story took place somewhere in the physical world close to you that would be something to ground your work. So knock off something or just leave it alone.

TITLE is fine, but try to throw in your word count and genre here to tie it all up together.

Okay...
When Lilia and her lover Malik broke the faerie law and created a child that was half human, half faerie, Lilia did the only thing she could to save Malik and the baby, she vanished.
This is a little confusing, as a sentence. We learn later which one is the fairy, but from this alone I can't tell. It also feels run on with the sentence 'she vanished' at the end.

Now itā€™s thirteen years later (personal thing- but when is 'now'?) Try 'thirteen years have passed.' And you might think about a different lead-in with the sense of what happens in the novel.

When she discovers that Katrina has ventured to the faerie forest, how will she continue to keep those she loves safe?
(pronouns get so difficult, but I think the 'she's after Katrina actually point to Katrina instead of Lilia.) (I also stumbled over "keep those she loves safe.')

The second paragraph makes it feel like half the book will be from Malik's point of view. Is that true? Because you might want to lead it in differently if all of it is from Lilia. She would stumble onto Malik's plot to involve Katrina in the Seelie Court although Katrina will likely die or worse at the hands of faeries, which would motivate Lilia to x. (Sorry. I haven't read the book!)

If it is Malik's point of view, you have a lot of things going on in his world that will be foreign but workable.

In the Seelie Court, where Malik has just been made ruler, magic is dying meaning death to all the fae. (this is difficult to read. Malik has just ascended the Seelie Throne and faces death of all his kind of the magic cannot be saved. It's still awkward but maybe that'll give you a jumping off point.)


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MESSAGE THREAD
Query letter · 10-27-14 6:44am
by MontyB
*Star* Re: Query letter · 10-27-14 1:25pm
by Storm Machine

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