K'neto's Hotline

Some changes were already made in this article... So some comments/suggestions might confuse you a bit.

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"Invalid Item"  :

Review To: Kai Adamson
Reviewed Anonymously?: No!
Review Time: 07-03-05 @ 9:44am
Review's Rating: 4.0
Review Length: 1,585 Characters
Review Follows:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your request for an item review has been granted by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore!


Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece.

It's a very good concept for a haiku, especially if it includes an oriental touch, something which tackles the asian culture.

The first thing I noticed was your description. Please edit the necessary points like "town" and "recent." If you want to have a great impression for your item, then you should start first with the description.

This only has 4 syllables > Aerial dances

This only has 6 syllables > Warm breeze twirls and scatters -

And this confused me > By bristling bonsai branches

But this is my favorite part >
Rustling emerald spears
Bamboo thickets weave lattice
From sun and shadow

In a nutshell, it is a very nice haiku with just the right elements of a good poem.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port.

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It's a good one!!! R3 it yourself!!!

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