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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
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| As an expat coming from a country that frowns upon corruption at every level, hearing stories of how things work here in Thailand has been somewhat of an eye-opener. It appears that when caught by police for driving offences, B500 is the amount we Farangs must pay. The fine cannot be paid anywhere within the state or province. It must be paid at the particular police station where the issuing officer is from. And don't ask for a receipt because language barriers, and I suspect, not wanting the trail of corrupt money going any further than necessary, make that impossible. Of course, this system can work in one's favour. I've been delaying getting my Thai motorcycle licence because of what's involved. It takes three days, with many hoops to jump through, and in my mind, the standard fine (around US15) given by the police wasn't enough of a deterrent to get me into the Lands and Transport Department to get my licence. The process of getting a licence involves procuring a doctor's certificate of good health. Then at the licencing centre, a colour blind test, a braking reaction test, a practical test in the car park negotiating an obstacle course and finally having to get 45/50 road rule questions correct...questions that are asked in Thai, but have the translations written at the bottom of the television screen. I have full comprehensive insurance for my motorcycle. Unfortunately, if I crash the bike and I'm not licenced, they won't pay for the repairs. After doing my laps this morning, my new neighbour and I were discussing this issue. He told me he got his licence through a driving school. It cost him a lot more than if he had shown up by himself at the appropriate place, but he didn't have to do anything other than pay the money and sign his shiny new Thai driving licence. I asked him about going down this (corrupt) road and he said he would make a call for me. Tomorrow, I'm booked in to get my licence. It will still take a few days, but there are no hoops and all that's required is enough cash to pay the officials and the driving school...which I am happy to do. The symptoms of psychosis are slowly disappearing. I can still make out the eyes of the demons at night or when I close my eyes, but it takes a while for me to notice them and for them to react to any questions I ask. This may be because of the amount of time since I last used meth allowing my brain to rewire itself. I have stopped going to church because it didn't feel right on many levels. I was struggling to come to terms with Jesus being the son of God and wary of the fact they were hard-pushing the whole tithing thing. I began to wonder how much accountability churches have as far as where the donations that are made in good faith, go. Does tithing pay the Pastor's salary? What about his rent and living expenses? What about his Harley-Davidson and his wife's clothes? Sceptical, aren't I? But if I'm going to be giving money to any organisation, I want to know where every penny is going...and I would want the accounts done by an independent professional every three months. I still pray every night before I go to sleep. I'm becoming more comfortable with the Jesus dying for my sins issue I have been wrestling with. It kinda makes sense that as I pray with more conviction, the demons (if they are demons) will find it harder to occupy my headspace. Because of my scepticism towards EVERYTHING, and the fact that the hallucinations have been quite forward in saying that they themselves are not real, but are figments of my imagination (which, in my opinion, is a strange thing for a hallucination to say), I'm suspicious as hell (excuse the pun) that they are telling me this to get me to stop praying and go back to the way things were. To cover all my bases, I'm sticking with the current plan of exercising every day, and as much as possible, ignoring the hallucinations. I'm having nice conversations each night with God and Jesus (and while I am at it, saying hi to my Mom and thanking them for taking good care of her up there in heaven). I try not to take things too seriously. Everyone speaks to their higher power in their own way, and I like to think that God and Jesus have a good sense of humour. At least, I hope they do, because I've written a few jokes about them...jokes I like to think they got a laugh out of. |
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