Porthole

Swimming...

For

FORUM

Space Blog  (ASR) Cruising WDC cyberspace and raiding ports for blog prompts! #2223838 by Sharmelle's Expressions

"Invalid Item"   [] by A Guest Visitor

Mini-review: very peaceful, mostly flows nicely. Love the use of 'vanilla' and 'pearls'. Poetic free verse? Yes. Could it be improved upon? Imo, yes. There are a couple superfluous uses of 'the' and this part

"Scent...

a mere shadow,

bringing a

respiratory pause."

puzzled me. 'Scent'? and 'a respiratory pause' seem an odd use of language and pulls me out of the moment.

It's short, like a couple breaths long so there isn't much I can suggest to make it better except to read out-loud again and edit again or leave as is. Rate: 4.3 as is, potential 4.7.


Do you like swimming? Tell us why?

No. Terrified of swimming as a child. Mandatory nakedness in school as a teen made it miserable at a time I was struggling with self-image and felt very vulnerable. Never learned how to swim. Still no love for water that can kill me. A warm tidal pool is about all I can handle. A bathtub is best.

Seen on the internet:

"Let’s face it, there’s no going back from protesting to brunch. Our problems were always much bigger than Trump."

— Maurice Mitchell, USA Today

11/11 rhyme and rhythm!

Parked here for when I need a rhyming couplet. Sonnet? Villanelle?