Poetic Referendum(s) On Life

You Don't Know Me...For A Reason

Typos and all until I feel like editing this confession. Get your screen captures now. Should know by now rubbing stuff in my face empowers me. (Should subtitle 'How You Make Your Villains.')

Concussed, head traumas, abused, bullied, ridiculed, beaten up to cite a few because I was different. Dad didn't understand me, mom pitied me, oldest brother tormented me, youngest constantly got me in trouble. I became defiant, never backed down; though I became shy and afraid of confronting issues. So, when I made mistakes, I lied and covered up. Few liked me because I started to hate myself because I couldn't connect with people on a human, emotional level. I spoke with little inflection, monotone to avoid being noticed.

What made it more complex than easier was blossoming into an attractive young male. I masked fears and anxiety with false bravado and vanity. At least I learned to love myself by realizing what I could see in the mirror. By working my sculpted body into a coveted specimen. Unfortunately, that would be about all I had going for me from 18-26.

Now,, I'm just a villain. It's the easiest personna to uphold. My family disrespects me. Won't accept excuses of lifelong trauma. I don't want to viewed with contempt, though. But, by getting everyone to hate or become indifferent towards me, I can be assured of outcomes. It's better than have people turn on me because they don't understand or see eye to eye and would rather demonize one who started out a sweet, innocent soul that became callous and hard so no one could penetrate his armor.

No trust, prepared to circumvent any manipulator who comes my way. Tired of being a chump, left out, unworthy unless I decide -- be alone. I have no one to truly confide in. I just write to get it all. No pity please. There's only one person left on this planet who got me and she won't reciprocate my attempts at communication.

Out

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