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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/960711-Passive-Aggressive-Party-Parting
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#960711 added June 13, 2019 at 12:13am
Restrictions: None
Passive-Aggressive Party Parting
The barbecue is almost over! How do you entice your guests to leave without basically kicking them out?

So many possibilities.

*Bullet* Pay the cops to drive over with sirens on. They'll scatter like roaches.

*Bullet* Threaten to strip naked, whilst being drunk enough to make it a credible threat.

*Bullet* Run out of beer - though this is a bit of a Pyrrhic victory, as it will leave me with no beer. Maybe hide a reserve stash first.

*Bullet* Start telling my repertoire of "dead baby" jokes and "guy with no arms or legs" jokes.

*Bullet* Instigate a political and/or religious argument.

*Bullet* Suggest we play Monopoly.

*Bullet* Ask for help with the cleanup.

*Bullet* Blast Justin Bieber on sound system. On second thought, this may violate the Geneva Convention.

© Copyright 2019 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Robert Waltz has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/960711-Passive-Aggressive-Party-Parting