Melting Snow

Tuesday thoughts on Patience, Genius, and Depression

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Before I get started with this entry,
I have to say it may be another rant
because I'm not sure that this Tuesday depression has passed:
"Tuesday Talk: A Full-Scale Career or Attitude Change" 

The "Blogging Circle of Friends "  prompt for DAY 1406
"Patience is a necessary ingredient of genius."~ Benjamin Disraeli Do you agree or disagree? Who is the most patient person in your life? How do they accomplish it?

Every time someone mentions patience I remember a cartoon I once read. It showed these two vultures sitting on the limb of a dead tree. The caption under the picture was "Patience my ass. If something doesn't die soon, I'm going to kill it." At least that's how I remember the caption. As for patience being "a necessary ingredient of genius", I'm not sure of that today. Of course, I could be so depressed that I don't have any patience for anything. I'm pissed with myself as well, which could be part of the reason I'm depressed. The main reason I'm depressed (I think) has to do with my financial and living conditions. I have found out that I don't like living alone and I don't like living with other people. Maybe I need a robot companion, but the way I feel today the robot would piss me off as much as I piss off myself or other people piss me off.

Is patience "a necessary ingredient of genius"? Yes, when the genius isn't depressed. I'm not sure that I'm a genius, but I know I have a fairly high IQ. I also know that when I'm depressed I have less patience then when I'm not depressed. In addition, I'm more inclined to take risk when I'm not depressed because I have a positive attitude which tells me I can do it and everything will turn out all right.

I think one of my problems today is that I miss Mama. Mama always encouraged me to follow my dreams, she never shot me down. Mama isn't with me physically all though I suspect she is with me spiritually. Sometimes that helps, but not today. This morning I sank into a depression that has taken me all morning to get out of and I'm not sure it's passed completely. Writing helps. Prayer helps, Walking helps. I did all those things this morning and the dark clouds are slowly dissipating. I still have some papers to make out and get in the mail this week, if it isn't too late. I don't care if it is too late I'm making them out anyway and getting them in the post.

I'm feeling better,
less depressed,
I don't know how long it will last,
but that's OK. I'll get done what I can
while I'm in my present mood.