Sandy Supposes....

Elevator Etiquette

PROMPT: War Chest Wednesday! You step into an elevator and someone left a briefcase in there. The doors shut. What do you do?

         Well, according to elevator etiquette 101, I'd avoid initiating eye contact, and ignore the briefcase. I' m assuming we're not scrunched together: rubbing elbows and breathing down each other's necks. Maintaining a neutral distance between us is mandatory; personal boundaries are not to be breached. It is important not to make any sudden moves which could spook the briefcase. To prevent any untoward attention, I'd try to stifle my natural inclination to fidget, so, no toe-tapping or wriggling. Staring is rude, but often unavoidable in cramped quarters. I'd probably sneak a few sly glances. Remaining mute is difficult should an elevator tune tickle my fancy, or evoke a memory. There are those who would describe my singing as caterwauling or cackling, but the compulsion to karaoke is so strong. With a bit of restraint, I can but hope that the music drowns out my efforts.

         Now if it's a long'ish elevator jaunt, I'll be tempted to engage my fellow traveller in conversation. Silence is not my greatest strength, or inclination. There are a few standard comments about the weather and the building that usually serve to break the ice. "What brings you here today?", can create camaraderie. Remarking that the elevator seems especially slow, or pantomiming a bucking horse during jerking, or commenting that the phone box is missing an actual phone, or wondering out loud what the exposed, stripped wiring is for, does not quell any possible nervousness. Now I wouldn't want the briefcase to misconstrue anything I said. It's not like I'd be hitting on him, or assuming he was single and, therefore, available. Riding together in an elevator could be awkward enough.

         Oh, I almost forgot. I'd make use of my manners and offer to press the floor buttons for the briefcase. "Going up?" It's the least I could do....