Everyday Canvas

They never understand!

Prompt: The FBI show up at your door. Why are they there?

Easy and I don’t blame those guys one iota, either. On an alert by Google Chrome, they have checked my browsing history and found these search questions:

Arsenic
Nightshade family
the deadliest poisons that don’t leave a trace
how to hold a gun
how to fire a gun
the different kinds of firearms
dirks, scimitars, and other sharp blades
lonely women moving to Syria
erasing blood stains
why people kill
Stoning
Book Gorilla
Revolutionary Petunias
Arms race and phallic symbols
18th-century hanging practices
murdered kings in history
How to become a member of the mob
Cryogenics
Alien influence
Punishments for adultery

I tell them I am a writer and I have a right to do all kinds of research. They tell me they don’t know of any books by me and they ask if I've sold any.

I tell them, I am not a vendor; I am only a writer.

They say nobody just writes. They can’t believe that I just write.

I tell them to check my portfolio in Writing.com.

They glance through my port, and then, they look at me and say: “Idiot, loser!”

Obvious, isn’t it? From those two words, I immediately understand that they were sent by a presidential candidate.

I say: “You are not the real FBI agents. You are only acting the part."

They say: “And you are not a real writer. You are only acting the part.”

Losers!

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Note: This is fiction. This is only fiction. Don't anyone get any misplaced ideas!