Everyday Canvas

Being Hard on Oneself

Prompt: Being hard on yourself/ Write about the ways you are hard on yourself and the ways you aren’t. Were you always the same with this approach or did it change over the years?

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I am hard on myself when I have to break a promise. I try not to lie and be 100% moral, at least be what I consider as moral, but then, life and the people in it throw a challenge on my way and I either have to sidestep it or come up with a white lie or an excuse; then, I am hard on myself. Also sometimes, I say something unknowingly or harshly that might hurt a person. When I realize what escaped me, I am not too happy with myself.

It used to be I would be very angry with myself when I didn’t cover an area fully, didn't quite finish what I was supposed to do, or missed on or forgot some knowledge within my expertise. Now, in contrast, I cut myself some slack if I forget some things and do not do everything as well as I originally planned to do. This is probably because either I grew old and accepted my aging or WdC trained me, or both.

Truth is, I used to be a perfectionist practically in all areas of my life but only with my own actions and with what I tried to produce. I tried not to push my perfectionism on the people in my life, with emphasis on the word tried. Now I find that perfectionism doesn’t translate well into old age, so I don’t expect it from myself or from anyone else.

I guess, over the years, I have learned to accept what I cannot change, and in the process, I noticed that life is pretty amazing, despite the bumps on our paths and our own inconsistencies; therefore, I am now enjoying what I can do, be it faulty or imperfect, and I do not beat myself up when I take a misstep.