Everyday Canvas

Writing and Tabloids

Prompt: Would you ever take a job writing for a gossip rag, dishing about celebrities, politicians or local law enforcement?

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No, I would never accept such a tabloid job. To start with, it would be disrespecting someone else’s privacy. Then it would be dirty writing, for lack of a better word. I can think of other words, but they are all expletives. Also, in principle, no one has the right to badmouth anyone else through conjectures and falsehoods, be it their worst enemy.

Having said all that, I think the research for such a thing would be fun if only for creating characters for fiction, as long as the people are unaware that I am spying on them.

There is another side to gossip rags and tabloids, though; if taken in jest, they could be highly comedic. I see them all the time near the check-out register in our local Publix. Some of the far-out headlines that I recall are:

Hilary Clinton adopts an alien baby.

Kim is eating pasta on top of ice-cream after a fallout with Kanye.

A bachelorette got knocked up and knocked out.

J. A. went into a frenzy at a spiritual center over her hair.

How the Kardashians stole Christmas

X and Y keep their sex life hot despite his prison sentence.

I mean, even the zaniest comedy writers couldn’t come up with this junk, or maybe they do. Someone, seduced by a bankroll, has to be writing this stuff.