Everyday Canvas

How I Met My Doppelganger in the Woods

Prompt: You just met your Doppleganger. Person who looks exactly like you. What happens next?

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I ran into her while roaming through the woods in search of wild sorrels for souring up my domesticated veggies like spinach and broccoli. Then, while filling up my plastic bag with those green spiky leaves and tiny white and yellow flowers, I glimpsed her. At that very second, I froze, astonished. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing my own image; not the reversed image as a mirror would show but a real-life one.

“Don’t look at me, so dumbfounded,” she said nastily. “You are my mockup, don’t you see? I have been following you around for a while now, and I somehow succeeded to lure you here. These woods are my territory.”

“Yes, the similarity is astounding,” I sort of stuttered.

“Don’t stutter!” She ordered. “You don’t like stutterers and neither do I: however, if I gave you a stuttering complex, I will get a good check mark next to my good deeds.”

“I didn’t know there was someone else who was so like me,” I said. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms….”

“Hi, then,” she waved away my hand without shaking it. “There is no name, as I am your Doppelganger. For that reason, my name is the same as yours.”

“If so, may I call you whatever I wish?” I asked this creature who looked and moved exactly like me.

“You may, if I get the same right,” she said. “But I am so the prettier one of the two us.”

“Fine with me, Dopie,” I said, frowning.

“Agreed, Jalopy!” she answered, also frowning

Jalopy! How dare she! Yet, she replied as if she read my mind. “To me you are my doppelganger, too. Think about that instead of making faces, Jalopy. I could call you Dopie, also, but let’s not cause a mix-up with similar names and such.”

“Right,” I said. “Jalopy it is, then, Dopie.”

Agreed, it hadn’t been an amicable first meeting, but what the heck!

“Life’s strange, ain’t it?” she asked. Ain't it? Such bad grammar! I never utter that horrible, "ain't it."

Reaching into her pocket she took out a camera that was exactly like mine. God, even my camera had its doppelganger. “Let’s take our initial selfies to celebrate. Surely, my smile will shine better than yours,” she added.

One-upmanship, huh! What was there to celebrate? She had taken me unawares by being my precise replica, and she wasn’t even humble, while I am definitely the avatar of humility, but this thought I wanted to keep for myself.

Plus, this ominous creature had to be a harbinger of bad tidings. While she didn’t exactly echo my words, gestures, or motions, she was an exact clone of me, and being in her presence made me feel terribly tired. Then the realization hit me. That idiot was draining me, even my brain felt cloudy looking at her. It was as if I ate tons of fish poisoned with mercury that caused this brain fog. Heck, I wasn’t going to stick around her, if I could help it. Forget about the selfie project, too. She had to have some sinister ulterior motive.

“No selfies, sorry,” I said, turning my back to her, “I don’t want to be around anyone’s Doppelganger, let alone mine. And I forbid you to follow me.” Then, without delay, I started running away from her, as I shouted. “Stay in your woods, Dopie, or else, I’ll complain to the Creator.”

When I was quite a distance from her, I turned back to see her kneeling down with the hood part of her hoodie over her head, the hoodie being the same color and model as the one I was wearing. That was my last vision of Dopie, and I hope I never lay eyes on her again.

Nowadays, I stick with my beach walks and certainly do not stray into the woods. Who needs that fruitcake’s kind of aggravation?

Still, every once in a while, I turn my head to watch my back.