Down the Rabbit Hole

Landscaping

These days I dream so often of palm trees that I am surprised I don't see them lining my driveway when I wake up. It is not that I have the burning desire to move to a tropical location, its more the hope that if we were to move even nine or ten hours farther South, it would change our lives for the better. Perhaps. I supposed it is the romantic in me that dreams about starting over in a new place, of the excitement of forging a new life as a family in a new town, new state, new climate. The romantic that dreams of stepping away from the old challenges, struggles and limitations..of putting space between us and all that feels broken and used up. I'm not sure what is wrong exactly, I just know that something feels like it is. My stomach hurts, almost constantly. I dread my morning commute like I dread a visit to the dentist. I can't shake the feeling I could do more, I could be more. I could do better for my family.