Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about a quick message...

Good evening everybody! Comin' at you live and direct from a chilly ManCave in Lancaster, NY, I want to wish you all a happy holidays! Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Pleasant Kwaanza, all of that! Whatever it is you celebrate, celebrate it! And if you don't celebrate anything, celebrate that too!

I wanted to get that out of the way before I head upstairs, where the warmth and the wrapping papers live. Gotta wrap Jess' gifts while she's still at work. And I'm the worst wrapper ever. I used to comission my poor sister to wrap my presents for me, because she did a nice job. They'd look professionally wrapped. She'd wrap everything for me, except what I got for her. She'd do all of that work, and then come Christmas, she'd get my hand-mauled, tape-infested, monstrosity of a wrap job gift. And it would take her minutes to open it. I'm the worst brother ever.

So luckily, justjessica1 is the only person I have to wrap for. And she's benefitted from me getting better at wrapping over the years. The more focus, love and care you put into it, the better off you end up. Although it requires patience, I've gained some of that over the years, and it does help.

I'm sure you're curious as to what I got her. Well, I can't tell that here. Not that she'll read this anytime soon or anything, but I gotta maintain the safety of the gifts. What I can do is tell you what she didn't get. And why she didn't get them. The primary reason is...even though she dropped a lot of hints and I listened, I didn't remember shit quite the way I wanted to. Next year? Write it all down. Then I don't have to rely on what she tells the kids she wants. Boy did I fuck this one up this year...I'm the worst boyfriend ever too.

She did not get:

Tickets to any sporting event, as she has the last couple of Christmases. I can only get away with that for so long. I'm gonna need to start making it a non-Xmas thing. Plus, my boy Adam sprung some free Bills tickets for tomorrow, so the charade is over. Sports tix are for me as well. And I couldn't find anything fancy to go along with them this year, as in years past.

Tickets to a night with Alec Baldwin (either at UB or Shea's, I don't remember). Cuz them ducats were a little too pricey. Although, I suppose if you add up the total cost of everything I got her (including stocking stuffers), and figure in the labor and materials it would take to wrap it all, I probably should've just done that and been done and wouldn't have had to worry about having enough things for her.

Tickets to see the world's greatest Beatles tribute band, Rain. Why? Them ducats are way too pricey! Way more than they were the last two times we saw them. Plus, her brother-in-law has a side job bartending for Shea's (where the gig is at), and if I really wanted to, I could see if he'd get us a deal. But damn them tix are expensive now!

DVD's of shows she watches...because I just thought of it now, and I'm already over budget.

There are a lot of other things she did not get as well. She did not get a pony, nor a red wagon. What she will get is Chinese food for dinner on Christmas Day, cuz that's what we do. We work, eat, and exchange gifts. And we get the added bonus of watching a football game. That, to me, is exciting...and I'm probably going to be more excited about what she gives me this year than she'll be about what I give her. But I could be wrong...she did say she wanted these things. We'll see.

CHRISTMAS MUSICAL BREAK!!

Let me first say that I'm more than pleased to get this out of the way. Cuz I'm damn tired of the music. Second, I'm posting this because I feel bad for this man. I'm an unabashed fan of this man, but this is abysmal. He pretty much name-checked all of his hits just to write a freakin' stinkin' Christmas song. I feel bad for the little kids in the video, who will never know of his legend. They'll only remember this dreck, and that they were a part of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJiCFE3EFF4&ob=av2e

VITAL STATS:

Got hand and toe warmers for tomorrow's Bills game. Need to get back at my boy about it quick, but dammit, I can't wait! I haven't tailgated in years, and no one tailgates like Bills fans. To the family I'll be having dinner with tomorrow evening, I apologize in advance.

Bonus for the game: one of my cousins is going also, and we're trying to meet up. I'm excited for that. I haven't seen him in awhile. I hope it works out.

Why I don't trust ladders: After your boss leaves for a couple hours on a really busy day that you've just unloaded truck on, don't trust her to hold a ladder for you. Not when you have ladder issues. Not when you've fallen 15 feet off one once. Cuz she doesn't give a fuck while she's holding that ladder to steady it. She doesn't care that you've fallen once. She doesn't care that you've been "picking up the pace", and she certainly doesn't care that you've been dealing with the most unsightly, ridiculously smelly people all day. She just needs the mess that you made in the name of customer service cleaned up...4 hours ago. As I climb the ladder to atone for my misdeed, I get uneasy. You fall once and it happens; you're always gonna be uneasy. As I'm plotting my steady decline, she grabs the ladder to steady it...only the weight shifts, and I smash the side of my face on a box while I'm descending. Happy Xmas to me, half an hour after I should've already gone home.

OK, I've gotta wrap some presents. The boys are home and debating religious beliefs. I have to wrap their mother's presents in the midst of it, and try to bite my tounge. Mr. "Always Has Something To Say" needs to stay on Santa's kinda-ok side for a few days. Fans, friends, and homies, peace and love to you all. Thank you for a great and prosperous year. I wouldn't be here without you. I wish you all the very best in 2012. Thanks for stopping by, and please come again. Happy Holidays, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!