Down the Rabbit Hole

My Waking Muse

Despite my attempt to focus on writing more and getting back to generating more submissions for publications, it seems I have fallen farther behind. Another month ends and with it, the various deadlines for publications that might have bought some of my work expire as well. It seems these days the only thing that truly inspires me is my daughter and I am hopelessly distracted by the joy in watching her grow and blossom in front of my eyes. Last night we were too exhausted to risk a 4am wake-up call so we let her sleep in our bed once she'd fallen asleep. I left her there sleeping, one arm over her eyes and the other flung out across her father's chest, while I tiptoed across cold wood floors to the shower. I was almost fully dressed by the time she opened her eyes and flashed me a sleepy smile. After a few minutes of studying me, she pulled herself up to her knees and brushed her unruly locks out of her eyes with her forearm. I jumped down on the bed and became a dragon, crawling toward her snarling and tugging at the blankets to draw her closer, ever closer. She erupted into giggles and flung herself the rest of the distance and into my arms. I look at my daughter all the time. I find it odd that even though it seems I can never get enough of the perfection and beauty of her tiny visage, there are those moments when I notice a feature or some tiny new thing I hadn't seen before and I am left marveling at how I possible missed it. This morning that detail was the rim of darker blue around her baby blue eyes, a ring of deep indigo, an almost impossible shade of blue. Just the other day I had noted Jaden's eyes were changing to be more like my own hazel pools, but here they were now, inches from my face, flashing bright and very blue in the morning sunlight. It is almost mystical how every day with her is a gift of discovery.