Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the art of lonliness.

THE PROMPT: "Where do you turn to and what do you see when you're lonely?"

Lonliness? Pshaw! Not only did I practically invent lonliness, I invented a remedy for it also. I like to call that remedy "Being Alone While Not Being Lonely". The book I wrote about it is in the "Get A Life" section at your local bookstore, or library if the thought of paying for something useful gives you hives.

I don't totally mean that, by the way.

Truth is, the points in life where I've felt lonliness are few and far between. Even during an almost 10-year stretch when I lived primarily by myself, lonliness was hardly a visitor. The only problem was when it overstayed its welcome at 542 (for those that are unfamiliar, 542 was the nickname bestowed lovingly on the apartment I spent nearly 1/4 of my life, and the bulk of my twenties, in). It's an ugly place, lonliness, when it's all you've got.

Most thoughts of feeling lonely though were generally fleeting...five minutes later I was off writing something, reading something, walking somewhere, calling someone or failing miserably to take a nap. Self-engagement of some sort; any sort. But sometimes, there'd be nothing to write. Nothing to hold my attention. Nowhere to go, no one to call, and certainly no want to entertain the good old terror naps that I'd have. Then what? I never wanted to be the one to catch myself feeling too sorry for myself for so long, and I never wanted anyone to catch me either.

I had music. For me, at least, it was self-engaging enough while having to do nothing more than select a disc and press a few buttons. There were sounds I could investigate. There were lyrics to interpret. Voices telling me what I wanted (or needed but didn't want) to hear. It became images to process and thoughts to file. Ideas, ideas, ideas. Ideas of things to do. Ideas of what more I could hope to bleed out of life, so I wouldn't have to wonder why I was feeling like I was or had nothing.

Music has a strange power over some. To a lot of people, it fills a void in the background. It's on, and you hear it, but you're not listening. You might sing along, but do you really know the words? You're humming the riff of the jingle you heard in the commercial, but do you even remember the product that jingle was created to promote? But to others, it's the soundtrack of their entire life. We still buy the cd because we love the feel of the book in our hands as we're reading the lyrics while the song plays, fighting for some kind of understanding of what the songwriter meant. We're trying to relate to something in ways unlike others relate to topics like relationships, family, love, hate, stress, etc. We go beyond hearing it...we become it. The melody is our blood; its tempo our tempo. We understand/rationalize/sympathize. We make it our own.

With music, you can never be lonely. I don't know if I could live a life that sounds like it's tuned in between two radio stations.

MUSICAL BREAK:

There are other ways of battling lonliness. This video shows you how.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CAYFIpi89k&feature=fvst

VITAL STATS:

I've determined over the last few days that I'm gonna go to work one day, run my mouth a little, and my boss (all four-foot-nothing of her) is going to connect with a solid right cross to my grill over some stupid joke I make either about her, or at her expense. And I've also determined that she won't get fired for it either. Why not? Because I flat-fuck deserved it, that's why.

And it's kinda sad... I wish I had an example to share, but there's just too many and I don't remember all of what I've said yesterday or today that's prompted the sneers, dirty looks or comments she makes referring to me as "an ass". But all of y'all would be laughing your asses off, fo' sho'. I'm a big jerk.

Tomorrow I get to sleep in with damn near no plans at all until the afternoon/evening. That hasn't happened in awhile. Usually on my days off there's one reason or another for still being up super early. Nope, not tomorrow.

BONUS TRACK!!

How about another round of applause for lonliness? Football season has started, which means this most important fact: Hockey season is right around the corner! I'd never seen this video before, and I really hoped it'd never end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QV5x9y_TRQ

That's all I can give ya tonight, folks. Much love, enjoy your weekend, stay safe, and call a friend. GOODNIGHT NOW!!