Can we talk?

Stroke Victims

    It occurred to me, since another WDC writer has had a TIA, or mini-stroke, that I should share a few tidbits for friends, family, and co-workers of a stroke victim. If only one or two people read, that will be still equip one or two people for that situation.

The TIA or stroke or hit on the head creates an adverse chemical reaction in the brain. Over and above the medical and physical damages, there are emotional and mental issues. Usually, it will even out in time, but the atmosphere and attitude will speed things up and help with a fuller recovery. A negative atmosphere will hamper recovery.

#1  Be positive. Don't drag out all the negative issues in your life. Be truthful, but upbeat. The glass is half-full. Deliver good news that you might normally overlook. Smile a lot if you can be sincere about it. Be enthusiastic.

#2  Comment on the patient's progress. My mom would embarrass me, but it worked anyway, by saying things out loud for other people to hear, "Oh, Harry, she's sitting up by herself today!" or "The color in your face is so good." A little old man told me that when he could flush the toilet by himself, it was a 'red-letter day'; so he and his wife celebrated; now he was helping others by visiting in the hospital for pep talks. Have a special celebratory dinner after a good follow-up appointment. Mark the milestones even for little achievements.

#3 Encourage, don't nag. Encourage exercise, healthy diet, rest, but don't scold or harp on it. You are still dealing with an adult, so be respectful.

#4 Allow the patient to have quiet rest time. He or she doesn't need constant company or entertainment. This time should be free of mental activity and pressures. If you would rest a sprained wrist or ankle, by reducing or stopping use of it, why would you expect your brain to keep going without recovery time? Maybe ten to twenty minutes twice a day with soft music or no music, definitely no TV or radio, and eyes closed.

# 5 If it seems like the patient is crying for no reason, or laughing hysterically over nothing, don't be alarmed. If you see fits of uncharacteristic anger, know that this, too, will pass. Emotions go all over the place because of this biochemical alteration. So just wait it out, don't threaten to call 911 or take the patient back to the hospital or any of that. Feelings will be very intense for a while. Sometimes it will take six months or more to even off, but sometimes much sooner.

#6 Try to understand his or her point of view. My stroke was mild, with little damage, but it frightened me. I was not going to tell anyone else that, but kept those feelings and misconceptions to myself. I was afraid I'd never recover and I'd live in some "group home" after my parents were gone. I didn't know what the future held, so my imagination went crazy. I was worried about my job, my home, my dog, my husband, all the usual. I don't think I smiled at all except a fake one for visiting relatives. I wasn't interested in TV or gifts or food or the games the recreational director tried to force me to do. And I'm a pretty positive person starting out.

#7 Don't talk down to a patient. At my routine occupational therapy, while I was still hospitalized, I was given a child's puzzle to do. It had a light blue background and had some big bunnies. The pieces were big. I felt so insulted, but I didn't want to be a problem. I took the pieces and tried to fit them together and realized I was having a hard time.They looked fuzzy around the edges. The therapist, in a loud voice and in a tone used for preschoolers talked about the "cute little bunnies". As I struggled to put the pieces together, I wanted to cry. I thought that maybe I deserved to be treated like a preschooler. But I never said anything or let any tears show. Hospital people have a job to do, and they forget that we might be sensitive 

So watch your tone of voice and your volume. The patient doesn't need further degradation. They need to be reassured that it's okay, and it probably will get easier. It did get better for me. The TIA patient has even brighter prospects.