Complex Numbers

Money

15. I believe that while money doesn't buy happiness, it also doesn't buy misery.

If you believe that money is somehow bad or wrong, and you're positive that having it will somehow make you miserable, please... feel free to give it to me. I'll take my chances. I take PayPal. I don't take credit cards (except via PayPal) because I'd have to pay a fee to do so, and that would mean spending money.

It's not that I want fancy cars or a yacht or an airplane; I really don't. The upkeep would be a pain in the ass, though I suppose if I were that wealthy, I could hire people to do the maintenance for me. Give me some of that economic stimulus, and I'll create some jobs (and if you're a young, attractive female with a background in car, yacht and/or airplane maintenance, email me)

No, I just want the money. See, with enough money, work becomes optional. In normal times (ignoring this current post-crash pessimism), a conservative investment of any amount of money will net you about 5% interest per year. So let's say you "need" $80,000 a year to survive, and assume an average inflation rate of 2.5% per year, which is what it was before Wall Street's little game of hot potato ended with Bank of America and its ilk holding a big armful of red-hot spuds - given that, you'd need to live off 2.5% a year, letting the principal grow by 2.5% to keep up with inflation. Well, $80k / 0.025 = 3,200,000.

So that's what I want. $3.2 million. And then I won't have to work. And THEN I'll be happy. So, see, money doesn't BUY happiness, but it sure as fuck RENTS it - in perpetuity.

Act now and I'll throw in my next novel.