Complex Numbers

Ah... Schadenfreude.

For those who've been living under a rock (or victims of the US public school system), schadenfreude means roughly "delight in another's suffering" and is a loan word from German, which is the only language in the world that could possibly have a special word for that. Except maybe Russian, which as far as I know, doesn't.

Today's schadenfreude is brought to you by Starbucks. You remember Starbucks, the folks who somehow built a business model out of selling $8.00 cups of coffee, thus invoking another loan word, this one from Yiddish.

Well, this amused me:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/6420ap_wa_starbucks_closings.html

SEATTLE -- Starbucks has announced it's closing 600 underperforming stores in the United States.

The Seattle premium coffee company also announced Tuesday it expects to open fewer than 200 new company operated stores in the United States in fiscal 2009.

You may recall my Starbucks rant from a few days ago: "Starbuck's" , with links to the eight (8) types of annoying people you'll find in Starbucks.

So, all I can say is: HAHA!

I mean, come on... The Onion wasn't far off a few years back when it ran an article about how Starbucks opened a new store on the way to the restroom at a Starbucks. You can't spit in NYC without hitting one of the pretentious coffeehouses. Sometimes they're on opposite corners of the same bloody intersection.

Okay, I hope the people working there can find work elsewhere, but I feel no sympathy for the management. Maybe instead of closing unprofitable stores, they could help profits by reducing prices to something you don't have to feel pretentious to pay, thus gathering potentially more customers, but apparently not...

Speaking of schadenfreude, I just had to post this pic of the train wreck that used to be a singer with a formidable voice:

http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=8621

Three days ago, Amy Winehouse left the hospital after being told that if she continued to do drugs and smoke and drink, she would die. Amy didn’t do any sort of rehab, then walked out of the hospital and onto the path to salvation. With a cigarette in her mouth.

You go, Amy. Don't let the bastards get you down.

Did I say trainwreck? Maybe "horsewreck" would be more appropriate.

Those tattoos on the Wino's arms reminded me of the Cracked contest involving what tattoos would be like if they actually told the truth.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16446_if-tattoos-actually-told-truth.html

When you look at someone's tattoo, all you really know about that person is that they have low self esteem and at least enough money to purchase a tattoo. That's pretty much it.

Well, we told you to show us what tattoos would look like if they were honest, and you did. If more people got tattoos like these, it'd be quite a time saver.

While we're looking at my favorite snark site, where the writers are even funnier than I am (try to imagine it), I found this synopsis of 6 Famous Songs That Don't Mean What You Think to be endlessly hilarious:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16442_6-famous-songs-that-dont-mean-what-you-thin...

Sometimes, the more you know about a song the less you enjoy it. You start out thinking the singer of some ballad totally identifies with your situation, then later find out most musicians are creepy sex maniacs, and boring at the same time.

...

It's a well known story that in 1984, Ronald Reagan's campaign for reelection tried to use Bruce Springsteen's blue collar protest anthem "Born in the USA" as a rallying cry. By now, most people understand that a song about a Vietnam Vet who ends up unemployed and in jail isn't exactly an endorsement of trickle-down economics. What you might not know is that you probably made the exact same mistake as Reagan about the admittedly less awesome John Mellencamp song "Our Country."

Okay, so I used an excuse to quote a part that, while not exactly endorsing Springsteen, at least doesn't mention him in a negative way.

So that's about it. Sometimes I just have to look elsewhere for material and, fortunately, the internet never fails to provide a plethora. It was either that or get drunk and listen to Brandi Carlile.