Enga mellom fjella

Resetting the nerves. Another rose poem, too.

I get the shakes before I open up some e-mails. It hearkens back to the day when I wouldn't answer the phone or open my mail.

Yes, I know ... this isn't normal. What is for me? Pour moi, la tristesse.

So, I gulp and opened an e-mail today. It was fine. Of course, it was fine. They almost always are, you see. The fear of rejection though runs deep. It's why I don't respond to ratings and reviews like I ought to. In person it's so much easier for me. If you don't like it ... I may even agree .

But an e-mail doesn't always say: "I'm gonna make your day" in either a positive or negative way. And having nerves that are absolutely shattered, I sometimes cannot welcome even the good news, unless I really know it's g.o.o.d. Never tell me "I've got bad news for you; I'll tell you tomorrow." As innocent as that may seem, it sets my warning systems off and I have an immediate anxiety attack that I may not get over for hours. Once alerted, my system needs to be reset.

So ... I'm trying to get over this, but it is not getting better. My empathy to any of you who understand because you've been there.

Another rose poem:

Brandy

Clothed in bronze,
carrot-haired and statuesque,
he stood above the rest,
wrapped in scented cinnamon,
bred to last for days.

He basked in admiration,
let his inner self reveal his heart,
one layer at a time,
until his glory
shone alone, brighter than his rivals' best.

His passing we lament.

A hail-storm tattered
all his raiment,
almost tore him from his stem.
Naked on his pedicel,
what now remains is but his female half,
swelling,
turning sunset red,
upon his bronze-leafed bed.

© 2008 Kåre Enga [165.77] 2008-05-24

And here's Brandy: http://davesgarden.com/guides/pf/showimage/109282/

And here's Singing in the Rain: http://davesgarden.com/guides/pf/showimage/151025/

Now my choices as for title and the proper images and words:

This would be a slight change:

He sang throughout the rain until
the hail tattered all his raiment
almost tore him from his stem.

The advantage is that it would aptly fit the floribunda rose "Singing in the Rain". In addition, for "Brandy" 'pedestal' may be more appropo as tea roses sit on top of long stems. Floribundas, however, appear in bouquets (an inflorescence) and 'pedicel' may pass muster. Both are apricot colored and heavily fragrant. I would not refuse either as a gift! Or both. Looks like I won't be able to have a garden this year though.

ME:

Didn't sleep last night. Had a 10:30 a.m. appointment that I dragged myself to. The secretary immediately commented that I didn't look well. I didn't feel well either. My counselor used touch to know what was going on in my body. I finally told her what I'm really really frightened of (among many fears).

Got on the internet and entered and edited more 'stuff', responded to e-mails. Has anyone noticed that I'm trying to respond to each one with a reply and posting the appropriate portions here in the comments too? I hope it helps.

Kansas: Calm and cooling at 00:00, 16ºC. ** Image ID #1295354 Unavailable **

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