Dear Lucy

September 17th - September 20th

Dear Lucy!


                                       


                                                                                                   September, 17th, 2007


Dear nameless friend!

I'm doing it the traditional way. Yesterday I went and got this book. I've decided to use it as a diary. Just like I used to do in my childhood days.
Now, the first and most important question would be: How do I call you, my new nameless friend?
By the way, my name is Myra. And you shall be called....Lucy! So. Let's start again:


Dear Lucy!

You are going to ask yourself why I plan to share my inner thoughts with a book. Well, the answer is, I've got nobody else to share all of this with. Now, if that doesn't sound depressing, hm?!? But, don't worry. I'm in no way depressed. Even though I might look like it for some. That's because of the way I dress, I guess. I don't like to be pegged as something. Most people would say I'm goth, but I'd say I tend more to the emo style. My hair is short and crazy. I've been dyeing it black the past few years now. And I've got red wisps here and there. I love to put on black eye-liner. Even though I'm not very much into make up. My nails are black and most of the time I wear black clothes. But not the hardcore gothic style, looking like a vampire. I prefer to put on jeans, most of the time relatively tight with tight T-shirts and tank tops in the summer or long sleeved shirts and hoodies in the winter. A belt with some silver rivets on it, will do as well. Plus, I love wrist bands. Leather or any other material. What else? I have blue eyes and I'm about 172 cm tall.

Anyway, I really am not depressed. Fact is, I've moved to this new town. It's called Würzburg and is located smack bang in the middle of Germany. In the north of Bavaria, to be exact.
I've started a new life, got a new apartment, new neighbours, even found a job quicker than I had feared. The only thing still missing is friends. Guess what, though? I'm not whining. Not at all. It's only been three weeks since I moved here and I am so happy that everything is working out so well for me. And that 'friends issue' will be solved with time. Until then, my dear Lucy, I will share my life with you. If you don't mind. I doubt you will.

Unfortunately, I've got to tell you, that I'm absolutely not sure if I will be able to write you every day. But I will try to keep you up to date on a regular basis.

Let's start with today. Got up at seven o'clock. Went to work on the other side of town. I don't have a  car yet, but this city's tram system is awesome. On my way I've got to change from tram to bus and the whole trip needs about half an hour. So, I'm planning to get a car as soon as my bank account can handle it. Nothing fancy. Just something with four wheels and a roof.

About my work? Well, it's a small company that sells all the shit no one needs but everyone wants as soon as they put their eyes on it. We have a catalogue, but most orders come in from our web site. Before starting properly at that place, I'm doing an internship. I have to work at every department for one or two months to get the groove of the place. If I pass and behave myself, I hope to get a full time job.
I've been working there since last week and I really like what I'm seeing. The company is relatively young and the team as well. Even though I'm not full time at the moment, they don't pay me too bad and my work time is okay as well. I start at 8:30 and am able to leave the bureau at 4 o'clock p.m., with a lunch break at 12:30. At the moment I'm stuck in the 'order department'. In the morning I've got to answer the phones and in the other half of my day I work on the internet orders. So I get some job variation as well. I don't know how long I've got to do this for until the boss decides to put me into the next department. But that's okay for me. As I said before, I'm so happy to have found a job at all. And since this one seems to be such a great opportunity, especially for my future carrier, I'll take whatever they put my way.

What else is there to tell you about my new life? Well, my apartment has two small rooms, a tiny kitchen and an even tinier bath room. But I've got a bath tub. The tub alone makes good on the small rooms. It's not a palace, but I've got all I need. All my neighbours seem nice. Even though I haven't seen much of them yet. Most of them are students, I think. They get up later than I do and when I come home after work, they are still at the university. As I said, I haven't had much contact with any of them yet.
I've met one of my neighbours from opposite, though. She must be around twenty or something. Seems to be a nice, quiet person. I think she lives with her boyfriend. If her apartment is as tiny as mine, it must be her boyfriend. Otherwise the place is too cramped for two strangers to share their lives with. I met her shortly after moving in, when I knocked at her door to find out where the trash cans are. She seemed cool to get to know me as she gave me a bright smile. And, I've also found out that her name is Stephanie. We'll see if Stephanie will be one of my new friends in this town.

Okay, it's gotten a bit late. I better finish this for today. I hope I didn't bore you to death with my gibberish. I hope the future brings more interesting stories than this.

Take care....

Yours

                          Myra

P.S.: It's nice to have someone to talk to now.







                                                                                                   September, 18th, 2007


Dear Lucy!

Here I go again. Even though today about nothing interesting happened, I've decided to write to you yet again. Went to work, answered phones and internet orders.

When coming home, Stephanie just came out of her department. She gave me another one of those sweet smiles. She really seems to be a quite friendly person. She asked me if I've got accustomed myself yet. We started a small chat in which she told me that she's studying English and sports to become a teacher. Yes, she definitely seems to be pretty fit, if I may say so. Which I of course didn't tell her. And she said that I could come over to her whenever I needed something. I guess she meant salt or sugar, ai?!
Unfortunately she had to leave for university. So our chat was only short. But it was nice anyway. I think, I like her. Plus, she seems to be a quiet neighbour. No loud music, no parties. Yet. She's a student after all.

Oh well, we all were young once. Okay, okay, I'm playing. I'm not old at all and I'm happy to join parties still, if one comes my way. By the way, I'm 24.

So, what else did I do after my talk with Stephanie... I went shopping - how boring. Luckily I brought my bike when I moved here and the shops aren't too far away either. I used the good weather to do a little bike ride through town as well. It was very busy and I've decided to stay on the outside of the inner circle of our town. I went along the river and found that the meadows along it are a very popular place to stay when the weather is nice. That would  be something to try out for me as well. Take a book and a blanket and just lay down at the river and bath in the beauty that this town has to offer.
Plus, on my bike ride I also found out that we have - what they call a 'city beach'. It's a small part at the river where they dropped tons of golden sand onto a car park. They put beach couches there and little bars and all. It looked pretty nice and pretty busy as well. Still, another place for me to visit.

Another thing I really want to have a closer look at is that beautiful castle we have. It's up on a small hill and is kind of watching over this town. I haven't been up there yet, but I've always been interested into castles and all that stuff. It's not a ruin but has been properly renovated. Like most of the old part of this town. I've already learned that about every house of Würzburg had been destroyed in the second world war when the english or american bombers attacked it in one horrible night. Well, I think there still is a lot to learn about this beautiful town I've chosen to live my new life in.

But for today it's enough, I think.

I hope you had a nice day as well. I talk to you again tomorrow. Should there be something interesting happening.

Take care.

Yours,

                          Myra










                                                                                         September, 19th, 2007



Dear Lucy!

Yet another day with nothing special happening. That makes it easier for me to write to you. Even though it's shortly before bedtime.
Since it was raining today, I couldn't even do one of my bike rides. I had to stay at home and busy myself with unpacking. Yes, you heard correctly. I still haven't unpacked all of my stuff from the boxes. It was much more interesting to discover my town or busy myself with other stuff, than to unpack. Today though, I forced myself into doing it and I have to say, I got pretty far. There are even some pictures up on the walls now. It's starting to look like an apartment that someone lives in and not like a storage.
Other than that, nothing happened. Didn't meet any of my neighbours. Not even Stephanie. Boring day. And I will go to bed now.
I wish you sweet dreams and a good night.

Take care.

Yours,

                            Myra





                                                                                                   September, 20th, 2007


Dear Lucy!


Today something weird happened. My work is in a multi-level business building. Since today is another sunny day, I decided to spend my lunch break outside. And to drive down to the river would have been too far. So I had decided to go to the roof of our building. I had done that at my old work and I thought I could try to find out if it works here as well. Luckily the door to the roof wasn't connected to an alarm. And I was right, the view was incredible. And even though close to town, it was kind of quiet up there.

It was quiet enough that when I put on my cigarette (yes, I smoke, I know - bad, bad girl! Hey, I'm trying to stop - - - really) I heard a strange noise up there. Coming from somewhere behind me. From somewhere behind a corner. It sounded like someone sobbing or something.

I was a bit perplexed that someone else would be up here. And at first I decided to put it off as just a noise in my imagination. But when I heard it again, my curiosity got the best of me and I had to look. Cigarette in one hand, I snuck closer to the corner and peaked around it. I was trying to be as quiet as possible for I didn't want to disturb whomever or whatever was behind that corner.

It was a woman. She was sat on a low projection of a wall. Her dark blond hair had fallen over her face as she was leaning forward, her hands against her face. She was nodding backwards and forwards. Her sobbing was barely audible for me.

I was a bit confused about what to do that moment. Yes, I know, if someone cries you should go and ask if everything is okay with them. But, when I saw her sat in the that corner, I, for a moment, thought I should maybe just leave her be. Maybe she just needed a few moments alone. Who knew what she was crying about. And it wasn't as if she was at the rim of the roof, trying to jump. So, at first, I stepped back from the corner and hoped she hadn't heard me. Which she didn't. She was much to self-absorbed.
But in the end, I just couldn't stop myself. I'm not someone who just looks away when someone is feeling bad. I always try to help people.

So, I took all my courage and stepped around the corner. As softly as I could, I asked if everything was okay. I didn't expect the woman's reaction at all. She jumped up as if I had thrown a knife at her or something. He eyes, red from crying, where big and in pure terror. She quickly grabbed a pair of sunglasses that had been lying beside her and pushed them onto her face, hiding her crying from me. Unconsciously I felt myself taking a step back rising my hands to show her that I didn't mean her no harm. The woman wiped her face quickly with a tissue she had held in her hand.

I guess she quickly realised that there was no danger coming from me, as she forced a weak smile onto her face. Even from the distance and with her glasses on I could see that there was nothing for her to smile about though.
"No, everything is fine." she said, her voice shaking.

I frowned at her because about nothing seemed fine at all. She blew her nose and then stuck the tissue into her trousers. Wiping her hands off on her legs nervously, she stammered a soft:

"Sorry for disturbing you."

I could barely hear it and stepped  up a bit closer to her. She looked at me for a split second before dropping her eyes.

It was an awkward moment for the both of us. And all I had wanted to do was to see if I could help her somehow. There was an uncomfortable silence falling between the two of us. At least this way, I had a chance to have a look at her.

She was about my size, maybe half a head smaller. Dark blond hair went down to her neck. Unfortunately most of her face was hid behind the sunglasses and behind the hair falling into her face. She was wearing a white blouse, short sleeved. Revealing tanned arms. She was also wearing black slacks, making her look like a business woman. She must have been early thirties, if at all. Slim figure. Even with the tears making it shake, her voice was soft and I could only guess that it normally had a certain gentleness floating in it. Over all, she was a beauty, like I had never seen before. And I have to admit, I was taken a bit back by it. I wished she would take her sunglasses off, so I could look into her eyes. But her head had lowered and I could barely look into her face.

"Do you need anything? Should I get someone?" I heard myself say. My voice was shaking as well as the situation made me feel kind of uncomfortable. I had to swallow to keep myself steady.

She didn't look up and just shook her head no.

Just when I was about to say something else (and I don't know what it was), my cigarette's heat burned my finger. A "Shit!" escaped my mouth as I dropped it onto the floor.

The woman used that moment to walk past me and towards the roof's door. I was surprised that she tried to sneak away from me like that. Shaking the pain off my finger, I looked after her and asked again:

"Are you sure that everything is okay?"

The woman stopped, door open and in her hands. She didn't turn. I knew though that she had heard me. I waited a second. But she didn't show any other reaction. Besides a small nod. Then she went back into the building and disappeared from my sight.

I really have absolutely no idea what this was all about. At first I thought about following her. But she had made it clear that she didn't need or want any help from me. So I instead picked my cigarette back up and waited a few minutes before going back into the building myself. She was gone until then. I have no idea where to.

Wasn't that a strange incident? I don't know what to make out of this. Should I have behaved differently? Would it have been better to just leave the woman alone and mind my own business? And after I had disturbed her, shouldn't I have fought harder to get the reason out of her why she had cried so hard? What if something happened to her now? Just because I didn't go after her? Maybe that had been what she had wanted. For me to follow her and stay at her side.
But then again, maybe not. Most likely not. I had tried to get her to talk and she had used the first chance to get away from me. I guess that is a sign that she really wanted me to mind my own business. Still, this whole thing leaves an uneasy feeling inside of me.

I guess I shouldn't get so caught up in stuff like that. My mind is spinning with horrible pictures of the woman doing something bad to herself. I can't help it. And, most of all, I can't help her. I hope she has family and friends to be at her side and help her with whatever she is going through at the moment.

Still, I feel sorry for her.

Oh my...I should really stop this. Now that I'm writing this, the whole situation is coming back to my mind and this horrible feeling in my guts is returning. Not good, Myra. Not good.

I will go take a shower...or better... a bath, to relax a bit. And to forget about what happened today.

You take care, Lucy.

Yours,


                            Myra