A Tenacious Vulnerability

The Story

A Tenacious Vulnerability
Written by:  Faith Cross





It felt like such as long time since she’d last seen or talked to him, even though it’d only been a week since they last spoke. Despite this, the world wasn’t over, and she proudly stated that in her mind every time she started to miss him too much. She liked to think of it as a sign of how independent she was; that she didn’t have to spend every waking moment with him to be happy, unlike some of the needy females out there. That didn’t make missing him easier to deal with though, no pretty words could fill that empty feeling inside.

Breaking out of her thoughts as the wonderful and glorious smell of freshly popped and buttered popcorn found its way into her nose. Tonight was movie night, a special event that occurred ever other Saturday, at around 9:00 pm. They would get together to watch a movie, whether it was at her house, his house or even just a movie theater, location never really mattered. Her favorite part of these nights weren’t the movies, but the cuddling she got from him, and even though he teased her when she’d do this during horror movies, she knew that he had enjoyed it too. After all, who wouldn’t want to be cuddling up with her? Despite his absence, she would continue on with their tradition, not only because she did not want to break the tradition, but she was also a movie junkie at heart.

Once she got the bowl of warm popcorn, and a nice soda to wash it down with, she made her way back into the living room and plopped herself down onto her favorite couch. The couch’s big, dark colored cushions swallowing her up, and embracing her in a very comfortable hug. She loved this couch so much, as well as anyone that came to visit, saying that it was just too comfortable, and too easy to fall asleep in. Which was a very true statement; she couldn’t even count the number of times she had passed out on it, especially during movie nights.

Sigh. Everything seemed to remind her of him, and how much she missed him; she couldn’t blame herself for it, they did have a lot of great memories in this place, many of which were still fresh. And she would rather be thinking of great memories, than thinking about bad ones.

Taking a handful of popcorn, she quickly tossed it into her mouth, losing herself in the powerful blend of melted butter and salt that danced around her taste buds. She enjoyed foods with a kick to them, generally disliking most foods with blander tastes. Butter hand wiped off onto a fresh paper towel, to keep from getting the remote control all buttery. It was one of her pet peeves, and something she had to remind him of constantly; for he had the bad habit of forgetting her rule, and getting the remote buttery during movie nights. Eventually, she just banned him from using the remote when they were watching movies, so she could stop having to wipe down the remote every five seconds. He had did other things that annoyed her, like clean his hands off on his shirt, pants, and even the couch, but that was another story.

The soft click of the T.V. as it turned on broke the silence of the room, filling it with the sound of a female new reporter, steadily getting louder as the pictures started to appear. Her T.V. was hardly considered big compared to the newer models that came out, in fact it wasn’t even considered big next to what people these days would have called a normal sized T.V., at least this was what he was always telling her. He’d constantly nag her about upgrading to a better and bigger T.V. system, and even add a little stereo system with surround sound and all of those cooler extra features. A few times he had even offered to buy all of that for her, but she always politely declined. She didn’t really care about the size of her T.V., and she didn’t want him to waste his money on her, especially over such a trivial thing of getting a bigger T.V… because it’s like what some people always said, size wasn’t everything.

The next story that came onto the news caught her off guard, and drew in all of her attention. Her heart skipped a beat as fears in the back of her mind came to life, but she didn’t change the channel or look away, fully focused on the news story.

“A few hours ago a police officer was sent to the emergency room in critical condition after a gun was pulled on him during a routine traffic stop for a broken turn signal; no updates have been given on the officers’ condition yet. But our information tells us that there was one more officer at the scen—“

Word after word left the reporter’s mouth, while all she could do was watch and listen helplessly to it. He, was indeed a police officer, and was on duty right this very second. His job was one of the reasons why he was so busy, working overtime for some reason she couldn’t explain, the only explanation that she’d gotten from him was that there were less cops working these days, and they needed to put in more hours to make up for the decline. It was tough being in a relationship with a police officer, but she wasn’t going to abandon him, because just like him, she wasn’t a quitter.

After what seemed to be the longest minute of her life, she finally let out a sigh of relief. The reporter finally said the street name which the shootings had occurred in, and he wouldn’t have been anywhere near it, as the location was way across on the other side of the city and far away from his patrol route. Now that she didn’t have a reason to be so worried about his safety, so could let out a few sympathetic thoughts towards the officer and this family, and made a mental note to get in contact with them. She was glad that he didn’t work those neighborhoods, as they were the worst one’s in their city. Always filled with gang violence, and drug abuse; one of her reasons for not wanting him to patrol those areas once they had started to get into a more serious relationship; plus, so had lived there once before. The only somewhat redeeming quality about the neighborhood was the expensive jewelry store that was there. She’d been in it a few times before, and had liked what she’d seen, despite her overall view of jewelry in general.

Still shaky, she took a nice deep swig of her Sierra Mist, needing something cold to drink after a scare like that. The soda certainly helped calm her stomach, which was knotted up quite a bit, so much that she was surprised that she could still drink. “Dang it, don’t know why I jumped to conclusion so quickly.” Muttering to herself now, feeling quite stupid for such a quick reaction. He may have had a dangerous job, but she could still show some faith in him and his abilities.

Taking another few minutes to recompose herself before she shoved a second handful of popcorn into her mouth, trying to get back into the mood for a movie; which was hard to do after what she just went though, but she was determined to keep up the tradition. So once she felt as if she was in the right mind to watch a movie, she ate another handful of popcorn, cleaned off her hands and then changed the channel to their normal movie channel.

Now they both liked move nights, because it allowed them to spend a few stress and worry free hours together. They also liked rating the movies and talking about them afterwards, not only was it fun but it helped them to get to know each other’s preferences much better. Most of their reviews were good, because while they had their own favorite kind of genres, they could pretty much watch and enjoy any movie. She, herself had mostly enjoyed romance and romantic comedies, while he enjoyed watching horror, comedies, and action movies. Their two favorites had to be “The Notebook” which had them both in tears by the end, and “Shaun of the Dead” which not only made them almost die laughing, but had also gotten her to close her eyes and tighten her grip on him, grossed out and scared during the more action scenes.

Major Payne was playing on the T.V, a good classic movie that she never got sick of watching. The scene that was currently playing, while quite funny, had reminded her of a darker time in her life, a time when life almost didn’t seem to be worth living. So as Major Payne slapped around the male actor for ‘hitting’ a woman, she couldn’t stop herself from being lost once again in thought.

Her first relationship had been a big mistake, having an abusive, and drunken boyfriend wasn’t really the smartest thing to do. She never left the relationship not only because she was scare that his yelling would eventually turn into hitting if she tried to leave, but she was also too stubborn to admit she made the wrong choice, and that she was scared and needed help. So she stayed with the drunk for many years, being mentally abused and being treated as if she was nothing at all.

One day, fed up with the way he treated her, she poured all of his alcohol down the sink in a fit of rage, without thinking about the possible consequences of her actions. Of course, when he was just sober enough to notice and understand what she had done, he snapped and quickly lashed out at her, and violently. What she had secretly feared was finally coming true, but she fought as hard and as much as she could to defend herself,. Though, sadly enough her kicks, scratches, punches, bites, and screams for help weren’t enough to stop him. She was after all weaker than him, but not because she was a female and was helpless, but because he worked in a field that involved a lot of heavy lifting, so over the years he had become quite strong. He kept up with the fury of punches, kicks, and slams, hardly even slowing down with her fighting.

Luckily for her, the neighbors had called the police to report the fight, and so just when she thought it was all over, and that she was going to die, the cops got to the scene. Despite having a hard time keeping herself conscious, let alone being able to easily see and hear, she would and could never forget what happened next.

The two cops were quick to enter, shattering the poor, flimsy door with a swift kick. They were even quicker in entering the living room, and apprehending the drunk, having little struggle at all because of their swiftness. One of the officers, the bigger one held down the drunk while the other one called in the EMC unit. While waiting for the unit, and backup to arrive, he had spent most of the time talking to her, attempting to keep her conscious, calm, and to make sure she was fine. She couldn’t really tell if he’d just been doing this because it was his job, but she had enjoyed that attention and sucked it right up. He had almost made her forget what had happened, and how much she hurt, but she could never forget even if she wanted to.

He even surprised her the next day by showing up at the hospital to check up on her, bringing with him some flowers, a smile, and some humorous stories. It was just the think she needed after what she had been through over the past couple of years, and the two hit it off, and his visits became a normal thing, and something she looked forward to. It was because of him and his regular visits that she was able to easily recover both mentally and physically, so it wasn’t a real surprise to her friends and the nursing staff when the two had started to date when she got out of the hospital.

Another sigh escaped her lips, followed by a soft sniff and a shake of her head. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore; she did love him, and missed him greatly. She did need him, when he was around she felt safer and even loved. She wanted to marry him, and be by his side forever, to even have his kids. She could only hope that it’d be sooner than later, but was scared of bringing it up because she didn’t want to scare him off. So instead, she’d been trying to give him hints at what she wanted, subtle hints during their last few days together. She hoped that he had gotten the hint, but she doubted he did as he could be slow when it came down to subtle clues, but she could always dream.

She had become so enthralled with her thoughts that she didn’t remember that she was watching a movie. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that her daydreaming was shattered, and her attention brought back to the real world as she heard a car pull into her driveway. Once again she was startled and all together confused. Standing up quickly, she started to make her way to the door, almost knocking over her soda and popcorn in the process, that wouldn’t have been good.

It had to him, didn’t it? Who would pull into her driveway at this hour? Now, it wasn’t too late out, but certainly too late for some casual visit without any kind of warning. She hadn’t expecting anyone, including him to be coming around tonight, but he did say that he’d try to stop by as much as he could, even if it was just random and for a few moments. If this was truly him, then it’d certainly make her night, getting to cuddle up with him and spend their movie night together!

Her quick walk became a happy rush as she could faintly hear the shutting of a car door, and heavy footsteps making their way towards the front door, already picturing him in her mind. She had wanted to freshen up a bit before getting to the door, at least fix up her hair, but she wouldn’t be able to make it to the door before him if she did. So she settled on sloppily fixing her hair while she made his way to the door.

Her heart started to race, butterflies floated in her stomach, and her throat started to go dry. Oh how she had longed for this moment, getting to see him again… getting to spend more time with him, and just having fun with him. She was getting more and more excited, seeing as vague silhouette on the other side of the colored glass door that she had.

She wasted no time in grabbing the doorknob and yanking the door open; a large happy smile plastered on her lips. “It’s about time you finally came back, sill! I thought you’d forgotten about me!” she had spoken so fast, that by the time she realized that the person at the door was the wrong one, she’d had completed the entire sentence.

There was a slight hesitation as she realized who was in front of her, and a hint of disappointment in her voice. “Oh, hi, wasn’t expecting to see the ever-so-famous partner.” Her eyes looked past the bigger cop, hardly even looking at details at the moment. She remembered him, and knew pretty much how he looked and could identify him just with a quick glance. He was the bigger cop that ended up restraining the drunk years ago. “Is he around?” she asked curiously, as sometimes the two came down to visit her together, and try to get her to cook a meal for the both of them.

“No.” she wasn’t looking at him in detail, but she could very easily pick up on the sad tone that had plagued his deep and usually rough voice. “I’m sorry… but something happened.”

It was those words that finally caught her attention, and caused her to look over him more carefully now. On closer inspection, she had noted that the strong-willed partner’s form was slumped forward with exhaustion, and his eyes were red and blood-shot as if he’d been crying. And his clothing had been stained by a red color that took her a few moments to identify… blood. In his hand, a small black box was held, she had noticed this quicker than anything else because it had seemed even more out of place with him. It was the kind of box that one would get at a Jewelry store, and on the top she could see the name of a store that was very familiar with her.

Warnings were blaring in her head, and she could already feel hot tears burning at her eyes and cheeks. Once again she found herself at a loss for words, and she hadn’t liked it. She felt vulnerable, cold, and scared. The worst feeling she’d ever gotten before. “W-what happened?” asking in a trembling voice, almost stuttering and tripping over the words.

“I’m sorry…” the partner responded again, his voice straining as if he himself was on the verge of sobbing right there, but he sucked it up and continued as if he had done this before. “I’m so sorry…. I wasn’t able to help him.”

The End